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Reverse Survivor Update: Wagner is the 2012 Champion!

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You guys!

We have a 2012 Reverse Survivor champion! I know, right? This is pretty important stuff. Go put on your finest top hat and monocle so that we can celebrate appropriately.

In 2011, it took until the end of the year for a Reverse Survivor champion to be crowned. In the end, Wagner and St. Joseph's shared the title, each putting together pristine winless records. (The Seahawks and Hawks each went 0-12.) This year, however, things have been decided fairly early: With Albany's 12-11 victory over Binghamton on Saturday, the Great Danes secured their first win on the year, leaving only one summarily beaten club -- the most summarily beaten of the summarily beaten -- remaining.

The win for Albany was fairly easy, although heart-stopping down the stretch: The Great Danes never trailed in the game, held a six-goal lead at one point, and managed to hold on as Binghamton slowly chipped away at a five-goal deficient from the 1:57 mark of the third quarter until 34 seconds remained at the end of regulation. Keith Olson ultimately secured Albany's victory with the face-off win that followed Binghamton's tally to draw the Bearcats within one at 12-11, allowing him complimentary wings at local Albany-area establishments in respect of his work at the dot on the day (14-24).

While the win, in and of itself, is exciting for Scott Marr's ragtag group of lacrosse cultists, there is something else here that is potentially frightening: With the victory, Albany now sits tied atop the America East standings at 1-0 with UMBC and Stony Brook. This could be a watershed year for Reverse Survivor; never has a team stayed in contention for the honors and won its conference playoff, earning a trip to the NCAA Tournament. The likelihood of this happening with Albany is small -- akin to the likelihood of me growing a third arm specifically to administer slappings -- but, who knows? Anything is possible. (Except growing a third arm specifically to administer slappings.)

Which brings us to the Reverse Survivor champion for the year. There's something poetically tragic about Wagner lacrosse. At 0-9 on the season, the Seahawks are among the worst two or three teams in the country (yet again), but this year's iteration of Wagner lacrosse is especially heartbreaking: The overtime loss to VMI makes you wonder if Wagner's God is an angry God; the three-goal defeat at the hands of Mercer was soul-crushing; and the losses to St. Joseph's (6-5) and Rutgers (9-5) were of the "Aw, c'mon!" variety. This is the kind of stuff that makes a 708-day losing streak (!!!) comically painful, like falling into a manhole and having your torso crushed due to a 15-ton anvil that falls through the hole immediately afterward.

I really want the Seahawks to get a win at some point this season, but the outlook isn't good: Their best opportunities are in the next two weeks against Manhattan and Quinnipiac, but Wagner is going to be 'dogs in both of those games. A second consecutive winless season isn't out of the realm of possibility, and unless Matt Poskay can find some magic soon, we may be looking at the greatest Reverse Survivor run in the history of history.