Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Here's a little background on what's going on here:

• Lehigh put together a little questionnaire for its lacrosse team to fill out. The school then appended the responses to each player's biographical profile on the team's website.
• 18-22 year-olds tend to yield response results that make you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you were that age. (Answer: Not a hell of a lot. When I was 18-22, it was a minor miracle that I didn't try to get into sock puppetry as a profession.)
• I'm sure that all these gentlemen will grow into fine young scholars and citizens. I know this because I didn't and the law of averages is a thing.

Lehigh updated a bunch of profiles since the last installment of this nonsense. Selected responses -- with vitally important addendums from me -- follow immediately below.

PATRICK CORBETT, ATTACK

If I Had $1 Billion, I Would: Be rich.

No shit?

Here's the thing: That wouldn't even be the first thing that came to my mind if someone asked me that question. I would inherently understand that I'd be rich, but I wouldn't take the time to respond in an email in such a Ben Stein-ian way. Instead, I'd probably lay out a detailed four-point plan to deal with my new billionaire status:

• I'd sock $250 million away in trust and savings so that future generations of Suxa's can grow up to meet their familial purpose without distraction: Writing nonsense on the Internet and seeing just how far their Jeep can drive through high tide on the beach before becoming sunken treasure.
• I'd take another $250 million and do all kinds of important charity work: Provide funding to ensure that children that were born with a baseball mitt at the end of their left arms instead of hands are given the appropriate medical treatment they so desperately need -- a full arm amputation and replacement with a jointed lacrosse stick attached at the shoulder socket; fund research designed to eradicate the planet's worst plague -- the German language ("Ich bin ein zorniger Deutsch!"); I'd give all kinds of money to the World Wildlife Fund to make special 18-foot straws for giraffes so that they don't have to bend all the way over to take a drink of water; etc.
• I'd take another $450 million and invest it in things. (But only things that have a really good return on investment, because I'm no huckleberry and I'm sure as hell not going to invest in your "Personalized Space Exploration and Craft Beer Company".)
• I'd take the last $50 million and spend it on really important things: A swimming pool filled with delicious frozen yogurt, ground zero for my soon-to-be-famous "Eat your way out or die via frozen yogurt" competitions (the world's most dangerous game); a covered wagon filled with silly items like muskets and period costumes so that I can round up some friends, play Oregon Trail in real life, and wonder which sucker is going to die of dysentery; I don't want just a hedge maze on my compound, I want a hedge maze that is an exact replica of all the maps in The Legend of Zelda.

DEREK BOGOROWSKI, MIDFIELD

If I Didn't Play Lacrosse, I Would Play: SlamBall

SlamBall isn't the same after it got all corporate and stuff. It used to be about the love of SlamBall, man.

You spent the better part of four months meticulously dissecting the 2012 college lacrosse season. You shouldn't stop now because cold turkey is a bad way to go through life, man. College Crosse is providing decompression snapshots of all 61 teams and their 2012 campaigns, mostly because everything needs a proper burial.

I. VITAL SIGNS

Team: Denver Pioneers

2012 Record: 9-7 (3-3, ECAC)

2012 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 3.28 (1)

2011 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 1.76 (13)

Winning Percentage Change from 2011: -27.08%

2012 Efficiency Margin: 9.03 (6)

Efficiency Margin Change from 2011: -1.47

II. "ATTA BOY!" FACT

• The amount of offense that Denver put on the field last season -- both in talent and actual production -- was among the strongest that Bill Tierney has had since the late-90's when he was steamrolling fools with Jesse Hubbard, Jon Hess, Chris Massey, and Josh Sims. (Aside: Why don't more people mention those 1997 and 1998 Princeton teams as one of the best all time? Those squads were missile silos of destruction.) Other than simply describing Denver's offense as "Mark Matthews Crushing Faces and the Midfield Leaving Fools in the Dust," the totality of the Pioneers' production, in terms of production measure ranking, is as good as any in the land (if not the best): Only three teams shared the ball better than Denver last season, allowing big finishers like Matthews to ram the ball home with aplomb; only four teams surpassed Denver's raw offensive shooting percentage of 33.50 (due, in part, to the team's ability to share the bean); and, in totem, this was the second-most efficient offense in the country (trailing only Massachusetts). Those metrics illustrate just how dangerous Denver was with the ball, but three other facts show why the Pios were so dangerous: (1) Only four teams played a schedule that featured better defenses; (2) Denver played about 3.5 more offensive possessions per 60 minutes of play than their opponents, which, if you're an opposing goaltender, is pure nightmare fuel; and (3) Only eight teams relied on extra-man opportunities less than Denver to make the scoreboard blink. The ECAC thanks Denver for its contributions to ruining defenses nationwide.

III. "YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU QUALIFY FOR THE AARP!" FACT

• The heartbreak! It's hard to feel bad for Denver these days -- this is a program that now has a Championship Weekend appearance on its resume and is clearly among the big boy wrecker programs in Division I -- but the Pioneers did make me question whether they were trying to drive a nail through their fans' eyes last season. In all but one of their losses in 2012, Denver's defeats were one-goal affairs (three of those losses were in overtime and one of their overtime defeats was a triple-overtime face-smasher at Arlotta Stadium in South Bend). On top of all those close losses -- the only difference between people easily putting Denver in the NCAA Tournament field and arguing about whether the Pioneers should be invited -- were three losses to league rival Loyola by a total of five goals (including a one-goal defeat in the ECAC Tournament that may end up being the game of the decade). That's a lot of tough ickiness to swallow.

IV. MR. FIX-IT HAS A ONE-FIX ENGAGEMENT, AND IT'S . . .

• Mark Matthews and Alex Demopoulos have finally left Denver, off to the real world of trying to buy vegetables at the grocery store by whipping potatoes past the price scanner with a lacrosse stick. The result is, potentially, an offense leveraged very heavily through the midfield, allowing guys like Jeremy Noble, Wes Berg, and Cam Flint to make things happen. This isn't a drastic change of approach for the Pioneers, but it is notable: No longer will the midfield have the luxury of playing with two of the finer attack in the ECAC; opposing defenses will no longer need to stay preoccupied with the presence of Matthews and Demopoulos. This will be a usage increase for the midfield -- a strong midfield, maybe one of the best two or three in the land -- and that can generate some growing pains (especially early in the season).

This is obviously your favorite site, but other people actually write important stuff sometimes. Now is that sometimes.

Kevin Warne Named Georgetown Lacrosse Coach
How do I reach these kids?

ANDREW GEISON NAMED MEN'S LACROSSE ASSISTANT COACH
Geison joins Hawks under first-year head coach Brian Fisher.

2012 Recruiting Issue: Top 40 Defensemen
Big sticks.

2012 Recruiting Issue: Top 20 Goalies
They're going to stand there and like it.

Jordan Houtby to join Team Canada for Duel in Denver
Sources indicate to GLS that Detroit long-stick midfielder Jordan Houtby will play for Team Canada in the Duel in Denver exhibition contest against the United States September 8.

What D1 Teams Will Thrive Under The New Rules?
For this week’s Hot Pot, we’ll assume ALL the rules will go through, and let you know which D1 squads would benefit the most from EACH of the major proposed rule changes!

West Genesee midfielder Matt Schattner part of Cornell freshman lacrosse class
Hello!

Today's beats: Crushing destroyer.

Short Answer: For now, probably not.

Longer Answer: That for now is kind of an important qualifier. Let's back up for a minute.

The NCAA announced yesterday that its women's Division I championship would expand from 16 to 26 teams starting with the 2013 tournament. The expansion was kind of necessary, what with the ladies rolling with 92 teams in the cohort in 2012 and eight more on the way starting next season. 13 conferences will receive automatic invitations to the bracket next season with the rest of the field filled from the at-large pool. The tournament's expansion was done to both: 1) increase the inclusion rate, becoming comparable to other team sports; and 2) allow for wiggle in coming years when Division I women's lacrosse is anticipated to add even more participating programs.

So, where does that leave Division I men's lacrosse? Right where it is currently, if you want to be factual and boring and lame. The tournament expansion legislation was specific to the ladies only, and while expansion at the men's Division II level will occur starting in the 2013 season, no additional provisions were made for the men at the NCAA's highest level. This is the word of the NCAA.

While the size of the men's Division I championship isn't necessarily a problem, things are getting a little tight in terms of field selection. The 16-team field that is currently mandated is comprised of the following:

• Conference champions from seven conferences: America East, Big East, THUNDERDOME!, ECAC, Ivy, MAAC and Patriot.
• Nine at-large teams, selected on the basis of various specified criteria (many of which rest on the Ratings Percentage Index, which is just silly talk).

With the anticipated ratification of the Northeast Conference's automatic invitation starting next year, the at-large pool shrinks even more. That means that only eight schools that fail to win their league tournament will have an opportunity to earn a trip deeper into May, a fact that should scare a lot of schools that aren't in the ACC or otherwise have opportunities to pump up their strength of schedule. This puts a lot of pressure on teams to find a scheduling methodology that works, perform over the course of a dozen or so games without serious stumble, and pray that the sheet of paper in front of the selection committee has the right numbers on it. The margin of error -- even in things that you can't possibly control -- is that slim.

In other words, if a team is on the edge in terms of inclusion/exclusion, it's really going to be on the edge in coming years.

That's kind of the way things are going to be unless there are some drastic changes in the membership or play in Division I. At a postseason inclusion rate of 25.4 percent (for the 2013 season), men's lacrosse is right in the NCAA's sweet spot for tournament inclusion rate:

• Men's Ice Hockey: 16 of 58 (27.6)
• Men's Soccer: 48 of 203 (23.6)
• Baseball: 64 of 297 (21.5)
• Men's Basketball: 68 of 345 (19.7)

So, it doesn't look like the men's Division I field is going to get any larger any time soon (and neither will it shrink). With that, the likelihood of a repeat of the 2012 Selection Sunday squeeze play -- Denver-Penn State-Cornell -- is pretty high in the coming years if programs continue to develop as they have over the last decade or so. That's a good thing, and also a bad thing, but it's definitely the thing that everyone is going to need to deal with.

You spent the better part of four months meticulously dissecting the 2012 college lacrosse season. You shouldn't stop now because cold turkey is a bad way to go through life, man. College Crosse is providing decompression snapshots of all 61 teams and their 2012 campaigns, mostly because everything needs a proper burial.

I. VITAL SIGNS

Team: Colgate Red Raiders

2012 Record: 14-4 (5-1, Patriot)

2012 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 2.14 (9)

2011 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 1.23 (20)

Winning Percentage Change from 2011: +9.03%

2012 Efficiency Margin: 8.95 (7)

Efficiency Margin Change from 2011: +7.90

II. "ATTA BOY!" FACT

• Colgate was a hell of a fun team to watch last year. In fact, if you watched Colgate play while holding a balloon and eating cotton candy, your brain would have exploded from your head due to the potent levels of fun you were having. On the "Fun Factor" scale -- a metric that simply attempts to measure how interesting and competitive a team is based on aspects of the game that I find enjoyable -- the Raiders finished third (behind only Bucknell and Massachusetts). That's exciting considering Colgate finished 25th in the same metric in 2011. It's just not where the Raiders finished in the "Fun Factor" scale that is important, though; it's how they performed in the underlying measures that comprise the metric: The Raiders were as competitive as any team in the country based on win expectation; only four teams played more possessions per 60 minutes of play than Colgate in 2012; the offense was just around the top-10 nationally in raw shooting percentage, buoyed by Peter Baum's, Ryan Walsh's, and Brendon McCann's ability to straight snipe; and Colgate was a flooding tide of an offense complemented by an aggressive defense. In short: the Raiders -- hidden from most of the nation save for CBS Sports Network flybys and NCAA Tournament broadcasts -- were as interesting and exciting as any team in the land; it's just not the ACC, Hopkins, and Syracuse that are playing the best brands of functional happiness anymore.

III. "YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU QUALIFY FOR THE AARP!" FACT

• Colgate played a pretty difficult schedule in terms of opposing offenses faced (the slate finished as the eighth-hardest in the country last year) and managed to pull together a fairly nice defensive performance over the course of the season (the Raiders finished the season ranked 17th in adjusted defensive efficiency). That's the good news; the bad news is that Colgate accomplished this while rolling with a -- how should I write this? -- difficult goaltender situation. Jared Madison, Colgate's first-choice starter between the pipes until the NCAA Tournament, just didn't have the chops to turn away stops for a top-10 team. His 44.0 save percentage was dreadful, and among keepers playing at least 60 percent of his team's total minutes, Madison didn't even crack the nation's top-50 in save percentage. That's rough. The result of Madison's (and Connor Murphy's, but to a significantly muted degree) difficulty in ball stopping? The third-worst saves-per-defensive-possession value in the country and a raw defensive shooting rate (32.51 percent) that ranked 51st in the nation. This was a big problem for Colgate in 2012 as was, in many instances, masked with shootouts and a defense that generated lots of caused turnovers and thrived with an effective ride. A great goaltender doesn't necessarily book a trip to Championship Weekend, but an ineffective one can keep you out.

IV. MR. FIX-IT HAS A ONE-FIX ENGAGEMENT, AND IT'S . . .

• Mike Murphy should be in really good shape in 2013 to make a run at the Patriot League title and another NCAA Tournament invitation. The attack returns intact; the close defense -- headlined by the undervalued Bobby Lawrence -- returns intact; the midfield has lots of pieces to work with, including Rob Grabher and Matt Baker who will be asked to lead as seniors. The issue this coming season, as was the issue in 2012, is finding some consistent goalie play. Connor Murphy will likely get first crack at the job next year, and while he looked like a man falling from 50,000 feet during the NCAA Tournament last May (especially against Duke), he was thrown in the fire and asked to simply survive. If Colgate can get average play from between the pipes, the Raiders really become a dark-ish horse for a run at Philadelphia.

This is obviously your favorite site, but other people actually write important stuff sometimes. Now is that sometimes.

Lefty attackman Barlow set on Siena lacrosse
"He is a field general type player, and excels at playing behind the net," Trinity-Pawling coach Nic Bell said of Barlow. "He is a creative, dynamic offensive threat and I couldn’t be more excited that he is joining us."

Recruiting: 2014's to Syracuse, Princeton, Loyola, PSU, Hofstra, plus 2013's
2014's make commitments to Syracuse, Loyola, Delaware, Princeton, Hofstra and Penn State. 2013's to Furman, Air Force, Albany, Siena, Mt. St. Mary's and Jacksonville.

Syracuse Lacrosse Community Mourns the Lost of John Schimoler (1962-2012)
We shared the agony of defeat losing three games between 1984 and 1985: two national championships and one regular season game all against Johns Hopkins.

2012 Recruiting Issue: Top 40 Midfielders
Inside Lacrosse is pleased to present the Top 40 Midfielders, as featured in the 2012 Recruiting Issue with detailed info.

2012 Recruiting Issue: Top 40 Attackmen
Inside Lacrosse is pleased to present the 2012 Recruiting Issue Top 40 Attackmen, as featured in the September Recruiting Issue with detailed info. For more information, or to pick up your copy of the Recruiting Issue visit InsideLacrosse.com.

Seton Hall Prep's Barrett bound for Boston University lacrosse
Barrett, a lefty, has good size and stick skills.

Incoming Group Tabbed Third by Inside Lacrosse
Welp, Duke is still going to be awesome.

Today's beats: I've been listening to a lot of Debo Band around the College Crosse compound lately. It makes me wiggle.

I was flipping through the ol' Twitter machine today -- Do you follow College Crosse on Twitter? Do it, knucklehead! -- and came across this from Virginia lacrosse:

A look at the new practice field. Everything looks sharp and fresh. The football lines are only temporary for the fall twitter.com/UVAMensLacross…

— Virginia Lacrosse™ (@UVAMensLacrosse) August 15, 2025

Fancypants!

I suppose this is the natural progression of college lacrosse. Resources -- not just straight cash but straight cash financed through notes and stuff used to lay brick, mortar, and the like -- are always necessary to compete; those with the best resources generally have an advantage over those that are still requiring bag lunches on 10-hour bus rides. I can't say that I'm surprised with the facilities race; I am surprised that it has happened so quickly in college lacrosse.

So, this is where we are in terms of people building new stuff because old stuff is stupid and nobody likes old stuff, preferring new stuff (otherwise known as "The Newborns > Stupid Teenagers Theorem"):

• Virginia has a brand new practice field. This will be used for learning how to shoot lacrosse balls and as an outdoor stage for Carly Rae Jepsen sing-alongs.
• Johns Hopkins is just about ready to open the Cordish Center for Lacrosse and Futuristic Space Exploration. It's college lacrosse's first lacrosse-only facility, perfect for hallway races in mail carts.
• Mercer is putting the finishing touches on a huge football and lacrosse complex, fresh with a new turf field and a giant building that will, I assume, house things like light switches and panic rooms.
• Wagner hasn't built anything because a trash factory -- the official building style of all Staten Islanders facilities -- isn't good for recruiting.

Am I missing anything (in terms of stuff actually being built as opposed to just being discussed)? Did a program contract for a nuclear missile silo and I didn't hear about it? Let me know in the comments.

You spent the better part of four months meticulously dissecting the 2012 college lacrosse season. You shouldn't stop now because cold turkey is a bad way to go through life, man. College Crosse is providing decompression snapshots of all 61 teams and their 2012 campaigns, mostly because everything needs a proper burial.

I. VITAL SIGNS

Team: Duke Blue Devils

2012 Record: 15-5 (2-1, ACC)

2012 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 2.96 (4)

2011 Strength of Schedule (Efficiency Margin): 6.27 (1)

Winning Percentage Change from 2011: +5.00%

2012 Efficiency Margin: 8.83 (8)

Efficiency Margin Change from 2011: -5.48

II. "ATTA BOY!" FACT

• John Danowski is, basically, a magician that uses a whistle instead of a wand and prefers polo shirts to whatever cockamamie thing that magicians wear. Since 2009, Danowski has kind of rolled out the balls early in the year, watched his team struggle, and pulled it all together as the season progressed. Don't believe me? Check this out:
  • 2009: Started the year 2-2. Finished the year 15-4.
  • 2010: Started the year 2-3. Finished the year 16-4 and won the national title.
  • 2011: Started the year 1-2. Finished the year 14-6.
  • 2012: Started the year 3-3. Finished the year 15-5.
  It's really hard to explain why and how Duke seems to get it done, unless, of course, the answer is that Danowski gives his team magic potions that turn them into destruction machines after the first three or four games of the year. (There may be something here in the fall-spring approach that Danowski holds, but I'm going to ignore that because it erodes my "magic powers, dude" position.) It's one of Division I's odder trends over the last few years or so, and it always seems to come into focus right when you expect it to. It's both a testament to Danowski (and his staff's) ability to react to the season, to address issues week-in and week-out, and to continually improve over the course of a year. When you also view this in the light of the strength of schedule that Duke has played over the above-referenced period, Danowski's ability to get the best out of his players in the middle of a land war is super impressive.

III. "YOU'RE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU QUALIFY FOR THE AARP!" FACT

• With all the talent that Duke has, it almost makes your face melt that the Devils were so inconsequential in personnel imbalance scenarios last season. Duke's man-up performance aside (it was bad; impressively bad, in fact), the Blue Devils' proclivity for playing in man-down situations -- only 17 teams played in a personnel disadvantage more than Duke in 2012 (about 12 percent of the team's defensive possessions were man-down scenarios) -- was really bad news for Duke's overall effort: Opponents clicked on 44.74 percent of their extra-man opportunities against the Devils, scoring about 18 percent of their goals against Duke with the man advantage (that's the 54th worst mark in the country). The combination of taking too many penalties (only 11 teams took more penalties than Duke last season) and putting an uneven ball-stopper in a position to have to turn away preferential shots in disadvantageous positions is just pure disaster (even if the Devils were able to weather this for most of the year). Duke, with the talent that it has, needed to perform both better in those situations and in not creating those situations.

IV. MR. FIX-IT HAS A ONE-FIX ENGAGEMENT, AND IT'S . . .

• Some more consistency out of Dan Wigrizer would be huge for Duke going into 2013. With the talent that the Devils have on defense next season -- Chris Hipps, Henry Lobb, Dan DiMaria, Casey Carroll (maybe) -- Wigrizer standing tall in the cage on a game-to-game (or even possession-to-possession) basis would really cement Duke as a national title contender. Kyle Turri is nipping at Wigrizer's heels, and if the senior can't find the magic next year (his mentor, John Galloway, is off to Providence to assist former Blue Devils assistant, Chris Gabrielli), Turri -- a sophomore -- may be thrown into the fire (again).

Do you know our pal Tim at Great Lax State? You should, especially because Tim writes a website on the Internet and a website on the Internet that isn't read is a sad and lonely website on the Internet. And that's not good for Internet business.

Great Lax State is all about lacrosse in the state of Michigan: High school, club, Detroit-Mercy, University of Michigan . . . if it's in Michigan and it has something to do with lacrosse, Tim has it on lock. The site is thorough, well-written, and generally one of those solid sites that exists independently from a network, is a one-man operation, and -- despite all that -- doesn't rely on press releases to generate content. Basically, lacrosse needs more sites like Great Lax State.

There's just one problem with the site, though:

That's right, Great Lax State is going to potentially be an illegal website if the Men's Lacrosse Rules Committee gets its way. Clearly, the promotion of a crosse with additional stringing located more than three-and-one-half inches from the top of the stick is a violation that will be enforced with a unreleasable blogging ban. (The publication of snark is a privilege, not a right, son.) How are other sites supposed to compete with a blog that promotes its content with an illegal crosse? "State of Michigan"-stringing is able to hold readers at such a high level that is brings down the ability for other blogs to compete at generating page views. It's really a black mark on lacrosse/blogging. The competitive advantage inherent in a "State of Michigan"-strung head as a logo is an evolution of the game that has outpaced the foundational competitiveness of blogging, and it must be reeled in.

Instead, the NCAA will only allow Great Lax State to promote itself with a crosse that features two strings across the top: one to represent I-94 and one to represent I-96.

The collateral damage of these new proposed rules really knows no bounds.

This is obviously your favorite site, but other people actually write important stuff sometimes. Now is that sometimes.

Glory Days: Soft Applause For 30-Second Countdown
For the time being the NCAA Men's Lacrosse Rules Committee got Pace of Play right. It is an adjustment, part of a solution, waiting for some additional modifications to complete the circuit. Given the current state of the game and all of its vested interests, it is an acceptable beginning.

Recruiting: 2015s to UNC, Hopkins; 2014s to Denver, Virginia, Yale, Penn, more
Going with the recent trend, top 2015's make early verbals to Hopkins and Carolina. 2014's commit to Denver, Virginia, Towson, Colgate, Penn, Yale and Lehigh and several seniors find a home.

Spotlight on 'Moto-Grip' as Rules Committee Assesses Feedback on Proposed Changes
The NCAA Rules Committee is in the "reconsideration and consideration" phase of its process, and feedback from various parties is casting doubt on the face-off proposals, specifically the elimination of the motorcycle grip.

Recruits: Matt Rambo
As lacrosse has skyrocked in popularity over the last decade, young players have been making great strides in their mastery of the game.

Westhampton's Gagne finds the right fit in Fairfield lacrosse
Evan Gagne’s game is made for today’s brand of college lacrosse. The rising junior attackman/midfielder from Westhampton Beach (NY) is an agile and athletic attackman/midfielder.

Neil McGroarty walked-on to the Georgetown University Hoyas Men’s Lacrosse Team in 2009. In 2012 he was elected Team Captain.
Neil’s dad went to Georgetown University. Neil dreamed of doing the same. He loved the environment, location, academics and lacrosse team. Neil started playing lacrosse as a boy. But injuries kept him from his high school junior year of Lacrosse. Georgetown did not offer Neil a scholarship. He considered other schools but none surpassed his love of Georgetown. So he decided to walk-on.

The Summer Olympic Sports of the Future
Lacrosse, a relic from the Olympic days of yore, is experiencing something of a renaissance.

Today's beats: In honor of Kevin Warne taking the Georgetown job . . .