You Get Nothing! Good Day Sir!: College Lacrosse Schedule for March 13, 2012
by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 2:45 PM EDT
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PrintYeah, sure, the bouncyball tournament starts tonight in some place called Dayton, Ohio. You could watch that, but then you'd be just like British Prime Minister David Cameron and do you really want to share an experience with someone who comes from a country that touts its contribution to international cuisine as "boiled everything"? I didn't think so.
No, you're better than that and college lacrosse is here to save you. There are 12 games on the docket this afternoon and evening, none more exciting than Wagner's visit to VMI in what should be the most important lacrosse game played with mayonnaise jars instead of traditional crosses. If that game doesn't pique your interest -- I can't possibly fathom why it isn't. It's just like watching World's Dumbest Criminals, son! -- here are some other highlights for tonight:
- Manhattan at Mercer: It's just a different shade of terrible compared to Wagner-VMI. Basically, it's like picking out an olive green refrigerator instead of one that's cat-vomit tan. Be as bad as you want to be, people.
- Bucknell at Drexel: It's an Intrastate and interconference party with balloons and cake and your drunk uncle over in the corner upset that his ex-wife still won't return his messages! The Dragons are coming off a shocking defeat at the hands of steaming Bryant while Bucknell is moving in the right direction after an 0-3 start to the season. Who will win the day: Burning-like-a-witch Mark Manos or nationally-underrespected Billy Eisenreich?
- Princeton at Villanova: The last time that the Wildcats played a regulation lacrosse game, this happened. It won't be an easy go for the Tigers tonight, but Princeton has one fact in its favor: Villanova is winless this season against teams from outside Pennsylvania. I'm sure that fact is rock-solid and without concern; therefore, I would totally empty out my entire 401(k) and put it on the Tigers to win.
Here's the full slate for today/tonight:
| AWAY | HOME | TIME | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
| Navy | Towson | 7:30 | 3.9126 | 5 |
| Lafayette | Fairfield | 3:00 | 2.8475 | 6 |
| Manhattan | Mercer | 3:00 | 0.0843 | 11 |
| Wagner | VMI | 3:00 | 0.0127 | 12 |
| Colgate | Binghamton | 4:00 | 4.5506 | 3 |
| Bucknell | Drexel | 4:00 | 4.8151 | 2 |
| Quinnipiac | St. Joseph's | 4:00 | 0.1477 | 10 |
| St. John's | Stony Brook | 7:00 | 2.7369 | 7 |
| Vermont | Holy Cross | 7:00 | 1.7325 | 8 |
| Mount St. Mary's | Georgetown | 7:00 | 4.2724 | 4 |
| Princeton | Villanova | 7:00 | 5.2613 | 1 |
| Marist | Rutgers | 7:00 | 1.0497 | 9 |
Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: If Wagner-VMI were a lady, how dateless would she be?) in the comments below.
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Wagner-VMI.
Let’s do this thang.
2-0, VMI. Q1. ~4:00 left. VMI hasn’t lost a faceoff today and probably won’t the rest of the way.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:15 PM EDT reply actions
Q2
WAGNER SCORES A LACROSSE GOAL!
DePhillips assisted by Hurley. 2-1, Keydets to start Q2.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Also, my preferred college basketball team is currently experiencing a trash fire.
I will try and limit my uncontrollable sobbing.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions
There are no reports of blood falling from the sky.
So far so good with this game not being a sign of the apocalypse.
Still ~12:00 left in Q2, though. Plenty of time for the world to end.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:28 PM EDT up reply actions
2-All
DePhillips with his second on the day, unassisted.
~11:00 left in Q2. This is everything I hoped for and more. The White House can send me my Purple Heart via FedEx.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions
3-2, the less terrible team.
Long gets his ninth on the season for VMI.
~9:00 left. AND WAGNER JUST WON A FACE-OFF! LACROSSE!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions
3-3
DePhillips again for Wagner. Get that man a steak dinner! (Or at least a decent hamburger from like Five Guys or something).
~7:00 left.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions
4-3, Seahawks
Santor gets in on the fun. ~4:00 left.
In other news, Matt Poskay probably isn’t going to stab a guy today, so that’s good.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions
4-Up
Nieminski, unassisted, draws VMI square. I hope he scored the goal with one of those VMI swords.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions
HALF
Mowbray gets VMI up 5-4 with about four seconds left on the clock.
Time for the monster truck halftime show! (I think.)
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 3:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Q3
6-6. Magic goals from dragons knots up the score.
~9:00 left in quarter.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions
7-6, Wagner.
O’Rourke for the Seahawks.
These guys should play each other 13 times a season.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions
7-7 (!!!!!!)
This is the game of the year! (That’s a lie.)
Leonard for VMI from Hofmeister. (That’s not a lie.) Hofmeister with the greatest name in college lacrosse. (That may or may not be a lie.)
~7:00 left.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions
8-7, VMI. HOFMEISTER!
~2:00 left in quarter.
WAIT
9-7, VMI. Robarge off the face-off gets one for himself. ~1:45 left. Yee-haw!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions
END Q3
VMI leads, 9-7. Who’s excited for the fourth quarter?
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Q4
9-8, VMI. Wagner wins the draw, dumps it down to Faughnan and he does the rest.
Nine seconds. Hot cha-cha!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:27 PM EDT up reply actions
9-9
~12:40 left. This is all happening!
Wagner with around 14 turnovers, getting dominated on face-offs, and VMI’s just VMI’ing the Seahawks back into the game. America rules!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions
10-9, Wagner!
~6:30 left.
Hurley for the Seahwaks. He’s got a handful today. In the land of the terrible, the man with a hat trick is king!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:41 PM EDT up reply actions
10-10
It’s like two kids in the schoolyard in an epic slap fight!
HOFMEISTER for VMI. ~5:00 left.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions
11-10, Wagner.
O’Rourke. ~4:25 left. It was out of the timeout.
Take off your pants, people!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions
This is very exciting!
In a very exciting way!
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Timeout
Wagner with the ball with ~1:00 left. This might be the best worst win in lacrosse history.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions
HOLY F'N S---
VMI TIES IT AT 11 WITH FIVE SECONDS LEFT!
Leonard from Long. Insanity! Nobody wants to lose! (Or, I guess, win.)
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:56 PM EDT up reply actions
OT
I can’t believe that I’m writing this.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions
VMI wins it in OT.
12-11, Keydets. East from Long. About a minute into the period.
Wagner’s almost inconceivable losing streak continues. Otherwise:
KEYDETS KEYDETS KEYDETS KEYDETS KEYDETS KEYDETS KEYDETS
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 5:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Early Game Scoreboard
VMI 12, Wagner 11 (OT)
Manhattan 8, Mercer 6
Fairfield 15, Lafayette 9
Colgate 17, Binghamton 8
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 5:09 PM EDT reply actions
Later Game Scoreboard
St. Joseph’s 8, Quinnipiac 7 (Bobcats stay alive in Reverse Survivor)
Bucknell 12, Drexel 11
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 6:57 PM EDT reply actions
Latest Game Scoreboard
Rutgers 10, Marist 9
Holy Cross 9, Vermont 8
St. John’s 11, Stony Brook 9
Georgetown 9, Mount St. Mary’s 8
Princeton 14, Villanova 8
Navy leads Towson 9-4 late in Q4.
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by Hoya Suxa on Mar 13, 2026 9:10 PM EDT reply actions
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