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You Get Nothing! Good Day Sir!: College Lacrosse Schedule for March 13, 2012

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Yeah, sure, the bouncyball tournament starts tonight in some place called Dayton, Ohio. You could watch that, but then you'd be just like British Prime Minister David Cameron and do you really want to share an experience with someone who comes from a country that touts its contribution to international cuisine as "boiled everything"? I didn't think so.

No, you're better than that and college lacrosse is here to save you. There are 12 games on the docket this afternoon and evening, none more exciting than Wagner's visit to VMI in what should be the most important lacrosse game played with mayonnaise jars instead of traditional crosses. If that game doesn't pique your interest -- I can't possibly fathom why it isn't. It's just like watching World's Dumbest Criminals, son! -- here are some other highlights for tonight:

  • Manhattan at Mercer: It's just a different shade of terrible compared to Wagner-VMI. Basically, it's like picking out an olive green refrigerator instead of one that's cat-vomit tan. Be as bad as you want to be, people.
  • Bucknell at Drexel: It's an Intrastate and interconference party with balloons and cake and your drunk uncle over in the corner upset that his ex-wife still won't return his messages! The Dragons are coming off a shocking defeat at the hands of steaming Bryant while Bucknell is moving in the right direction after an 0-3 start to the season. Who will win the day: Burning-like-a-witch Mark Manos or nationally-underrespected Billy Eisenreich?
  • Princeton at Villanova: The last time that the Wildcats played a regulation lacrosse game, this happened. It won't be an easy go for the Tigers tonight, but Princeton has one fact in its favor: Villanova is winless this season against teams from outside Pennsylvania. I'm sure that fact is rock-solid and without concern; therefore, I would totally empty out my entire 401(k) and put it on the Tigers to win.

Here's the full slate for today/tonight:

MARCH 13, 2012
Navy Towson 7:30 3.9126 5
Lafayette Fairfield 3:00 2.8475 6
Manhattan Mercer 3:00 0.0843 11
Wagner VMI 3:00 0.0127 12
Colgate Binghamton 4:00 4.5506 3
Bucknell Drexel 4:00 4.8151 2
Quinnipiac St. Joseph's 4:00 0.1477 10
St. John's Stony Brook 7:00 2.7369 7
Vermont Holy Cross 7:00 1.7325 8
Mount St. Mary's Georgetown 7:00 4.2724 4
Princeton Villanova 7:00 5.2613 1
Marist Rutgers 7:00 1.0497 9

Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: If Wagner-VMI were a lady, how dateless would she be?) in the comments below.