College Lacrosse Tempo: The Fastest and Slowest Teams of 2012

So, Nike is pimping this new "Fast or Last" campaign with Ryan Powell. I'd say that it's pretty cool if it wasn't derivative of the Dennis Hopper commercial that Nike did during the Super Bowl when I was just a young Suxa. Plus, you know, Nike doesn't give me any grease for pimping its products so they can go straight to hell. (*Wink, wink. Call me, Nike: 1-800-LUV-CASH.*)

Anyway, between that spot and RyanMcD29's "Stall II" post earlier this week, I started thinking about who has been the quickest and slowest teams in the country so far this year. Looking at this metric this early in the season, though, is a little misleading: With all the sloppiness inherent in early-season slap fights, pace is oftentimes artificially inflated or deflated.

You probably don't care about that, though; the primary concern for you is to get fuel for your shot clock/smaller attack box/everyone-should-play-with-jet packs-and-bus-rides-are-replaced-with-rocketship-rides arguments, right? Good.

Immediately below is a listing of the ten fastest teams this season (most possessions played per 60 minutes of action) and the ten slowest teams (least possessions played per 60 minutes of action). Some thoughts follow after the jump.

More after the jump.

These bullet point thoughts are scattershot, but it doesn't much matter because I have a feeling that your primary concern at this moment is whether Phyllis in Accounts Receivable has a better college basketball bracket than you.

• In Powell's Nike ad, there's a reference to teams wanting to play slow so that they have a chance to win. Well, the aggregate record of the slowest ten teams this year is 17-30. Now, tempo doesn't necessarily correlate to winning and losing, but it certainly makes the game more fun to watch. And if you're going to lose, why not do it with your hair on fire and screaming, "Your God is a vengeful God!" (The aggregate record of the fastest cohort is 26-24, so, you know, don't read too much into this or else your mind will explode and I sure as hell am not going to clean up that mess.)
• The average adjusted offensive efficiency of the fastest ten teams in 2012 is 28.5784; the average adjusted defensive efficiency is 27.7653. On the flip-flop, the average adjusted defensive efficiency of the slowest ten teams in 2012 is 27.3742; the average adjusted defensive efficiency is 30.1096. The national average for adjusted offensive efficiency at this point in the season is 28.9863; the average adjusted defensive efficiency is 28.5949. So, pace isn't necessarily correlating heavily to a team's ability to score or stop the bean (although there is a bigger deviation on the defensive side when you look at tempo). Again, it's a "I want to watch a blitzkrieg from 30,000 feet!" rather than a "Fast wins, suckers!" (At least in 2012 that isn't the case so far.)
• Rutgers is currently playing slower than Princeton last year, which played at a drunk-guy-stumbling-home pace of 57.3415 possessions per 60 minutes of play. If the Scarlet Knights continue to clear at around 90 percent and win face-offs at a 55 percent or greater clip, it is possible that Rutgers will continue to drive the ball into the ground for archaeologists to find in 70 years and question the leisure activities of humans in the early 21st century.

Anything else? The comments are yours.