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Everybody is Getting a New Pair of Everything

By Hoya Suxa
Presswire

I was flipping through the ol' Twitter machine today -- Do you follow College Crosse on Twitter? Do it, knucklehead! -- and came across this from Virginia lacrosse:

Fancypants!

I suppose this is the natural progression of college lacrosse. Resources -- not just straight cash but straight cash financed through notes and stuff used to lay brick, mortar, and the like -- are always necessary to compete; those with the best resources generally have an advantage over those that are still requiring bag lunches on 10-hour bus rides. I can't say that I'm surprised with the facilities race; I am surprised that it has happened so quickly in college lacrosse.

So, this is where we are in terms of people building new stuff because old stuff is stupid and nobody likes old stuff, preferring new stuff (otherwise known as "The Newborns > Stupid Teenagers Theorem"):

  • Virginia has a brand new practice field. This will be used for learning how to shoot lacrosse balls and as an outdoor stage for Carly Rae Jepsen sing-alongs.
  • Johns Hopkins is just about ready to open the Cordish Center for Lacrosse and Futuristic Space Exploration. It's college lacrosse's first lacrosse-only facility, perfect for hallway races in mail carts.
  • Mercer is putting the finishing touches on a huge football and lacrosse complex, fresh with a new turf field and a giant building that will, I assume, house things like light switches and panic rooms.
  • Wagner hasn't built anything because a trash factory -- the official building style of all Staten Islanders facilities -- isn't good for recruiting.

Am I missing anything (in terms of stuff actually being built as opposed to just being discussed)? Did a program contract for a nuclear missile silo and I didn't hear about it? Let me know in the comments.

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