The Weekend in Stick: Random Variables (Part II)

The Weekend in Stick is exactly what it sounds like -- a recap of all the important things that happened in the universe while you were enjoying two days of not-work. Part II is all about the little stories that are notable and adorable in easily digestible form.

ELSEWHERE

Princeton earned at least a share of the Ivy League title in a 12-11 defeat of Harvard; Ryan Ambler and Kip Orban combined for seven goals against the Crimson; a 4-0 fourth quarter from Harvard made the scoreboard interesting after the Tigers entered the final period with a 12-7 lead . . . High Point scored the game's first 10 goals and cruised to a 18-5 triumph of VMI; the Keydets shot 12.5 percent against the Panthers and held a 33.33 save percentage; High Point committed nine penalties against VMI, which is kind of dumb . . . Albany put a signature win on its NCAA Tournament resume in a thrilling 12-11 win against Yale; the Danes popped three goals midway through the fourth quarter to turn a one-goal deficit into a two-goal lead with under nine minutes remaining in regulation; Yale had a chance to tie the game with 15 ticks left on the clock but Blaze Riorden made a stop on Harry Kucharcyzk . . . Villanova snapped its five-game losing streak with a 21-11 domination of St. John's; an eight-goal run from the 'Cats turned a one-goal deficit midway through the second quarter into a seven-goal lead at the sunrise of the final period; a win against Providence this coming weekend will lock Villanova into the Big East Tournament . . . Massachusetts dropped Drexel on Garber Field, 12-9; a five-goal run from the Minutemen that started late in the penultimate quarter blew open a 7-7 game; after the weekend's results, Massachusetts, Drexel, and Hofstra are all 2-2 in THUNDERDOME! . . . Johns Hopkins evened its record at 6-6 following a 16-9 win against Michigan at Homewood Field; Eric Schneider relieved Will Ryan and made 13 stops for the Jays; Hopkins has an invitation to the Big Ten Tournament and will prepare for their archrivals -- Maryland -- this coming weekend . . . Providence owned a two-goal lead over Denver at the intermission but six goals from the Pioneers in the third quarter helped power Denver past the Friars, 13-9; Providence took only 19 shots in the game (the team committed 12 turnovers) while Denver took 22 shots in the first half; Wes Berg led the way for the Pioneers with three goals and two assists . . . Stony Brook saved their season with a 14-13 overtime victory against Binghamton; Challen Rogers notched the game-winning goal with 50 seconds remaining in the extra period; the Bearcats saw a six-goal lead in the third quarter evaporate as the game reached its apex.

MORE ELSEWHERE

Sacred Heart scored the game's last three goals to move past Wagner, 9-8; the Seahawks and Pioneers combined for only 52 shots; Wagner's playoff hopes pretty much disappeared with the loss . . . Duke pedaled to a 15-8 victory against Marquette in Milwaukee; the Eagles can't seem to push its magic on the nation's best teams, although Marquette still owns a victory against Ohio State; the Blue Devils had six players with multiple goals against the Eagles and only eight players registered a shot . . . UMBC did that thing where they win a lacrosse game; the Retrievers' 13-7 win against Massachusetts-Lowell assured UMBC of not finishing in the America East basement in 2015; the game was only the fourth time this season that the Retrievers scored at least 10 goals . . . Vermont has actual, real America East Tournament aspirations as a result of the Catamounts' crucial 14-11 victory over Hartford; a win next weekend against Binghamton or a Hartford loss to Stony Brook would propel Vermont to the league's postseason event; three of Vermont's five wins this season have come against America East competition . . . St. Joseph's will host the Northeast Conference Tournament for the second season in a row after the Hawks beat Hobart in overtime, 7-6; St. Joseph's trailed 6-3 heading into the final 8:27 of regulation but fired off the final four goals of the game to earn their fifth NEC win of the season; the Statesmen took only 25 shots against the Hawks and Jackson Brown made 22 stops for Hobart . . . Fairfield is starting to get this THUNDERDOME! thing; the Stags are tied with Towson atop the THUNDERDOME! table after a 12-11 double overtime victory against Delaware; the Hens will close their 2015 season against Massachusetts while the Stags will face Hofstra . . . Marist will serve as the host and top seed of the MAAC Tournament this season thanks to a 15-3 mauling of Manhattan; J.D. Recor and Joseph Radin combined for 16 points against the Jaspers; Manhattan attempted only 18 shots and half were put on cage (the Jaspers committed as many turnovers as shots taken against the Red Foxes) . . . Air Force scored two goals in the final minute to dump Robert Morris, 10-9; Keith Dreyer assisted on both of the Falcons' last two goals, the final one coming with three seconds remaining in regulation; Air Force has won its last four games and will host Quinnipiac and Navy in its final two date of 2015 . . . Canisius put up 20 on VMI in a 20-6 demolition of the Keydets; 14 different players scored for the Griffs; the Keydets get one more shot at a victory this season against Massachusetts-Lowell . . . Penn State beat Rutgers, 11-6; Penn State-Michigan this coming weekend will determine the final seed in the Big Ten Tournament; the Scarlet Knights are destined to finish with a sub-.500 record for the seventh time in the last eight seasons.

EVEN MORE ELSEWHERE

Richmond is on a collision course with Mercer after a five-goal victory against Bellarmine; the Spiders' 11-6 victory pushes Richmond's average margin of victory against Southern Conference opponents to 10 goals per game; the Spiders scored the last seven goals of the game -- the only goals scored in the second half -- and held Bellarmine scoreless for the last 31:25 of regulation . . . Virginia clocked a solid 12-9 victory over Georgetown; the smallest lead that the Cavaliers had in the second half was three goals; Matt Barrett and Nick Marrocco combined for 23 saves . . . Penn is still in the hunt for an Ivy League Tournament invitation after a 15-12 win against Dartmouth; the Quakers finished Ivy League play at 3-3 and need Dartmouth to beat Brown next week and one of two other scenarios -- Cornell beating Princeton or Princeton beating Cornell and Harvard beating Yale -- to come through to earn an Ivy League Tournament berth; the Green had a weird day, earning almost as many faceoff wins (21) as committed turnovers (22) . . . Quinnipiac is in the MAAC Tournament following a 9-8 win against Monmouth; the Bobcats scored six of the second half's seven goals -- all six came consecutively out of the break -- to turn a four-goal deficit into a victory; there were no faceoff violations in the game . . . It took double overtime but Mercer is still undefeated in Southern Conference competition; the Bears' 9-8 win over Jacksonville is the third one-goal league victory Mercer has collared this season and the third overtime situation that has bent in the Bears' favor; the Dolphins scored the last six goals of regulation but were unable to net a winner in the extra sessions . . . Bryant is in the NEC Tournament following a 8-6 win against Mount St. Mary's; the Bulldogs committed 21 turnovers against only 30 shots, that ratio forecasting ugliness; Gunnar Waldt made 12 saves on 18 shots on goal . . . Maryland scored four goals in the last 4:22 of regulation to erase a 5-9 deficit and force overtime against Ohio State, the extra period featuring Jay Carlson giving the Terps the game-winning goal and a 10-9 victory; attendance was listed at 21,064, all surely hardcore lacrosse fans; the Buckeyes went 0-6 in shot clock scenarios . . . Hofstra uncorked an ass-beating on Towson, 9-2; Sam Llinares had four goals on 11 shots; the teams combined for only 57 shots and the Pride shot 32.14 percent; the two-goal output for Towson is a season low for the Tigers.

PUMMELING AND PUMMELING AND PUMMELING

Your best individual performances from the weekend:

• Backstop Circus: Adam Sawicki (17, Lehigh); Jack Kelly (21, Brown); Tyler Blaisdell (15, Princeton); Peter Badgley (15, Providence); Jackson Brown (22, Hobart); and Drew Goethals (16, Bellarmine). High honors this week go to Kelly for doing mean things to Cornell.
• Five-Goal Club and More: Zach Herreweyers (5, Loyola); Sean Cerrone (5, Villanova); Nate Lewnes (5, UMBC); Joseph Radin (7, Marist); Luke Laszkiewicz (5, Robert Morris); Adam Fishman (5, Dartmouth); Nick Doktor (5, Pennsylvania); and Brody Eastwood (5, Stony Brook).
• The Power Plant: Double-Digit Point Generation: None. Do more things, people.
• The Chloroform-Soaked Rag Award: Let's go with Hofstra's defense. The Pride held Towson to two goals and kept the Tigers scoreless for the last 35:05 of regulation. Towson shot just 6.9 percent and Chris Selva and Jack Concannon combined for 14 saves against the Tigers, the two keepers worth an 87.5 save percentage.
• The Lyle Thompson Prism of Doom Award: How about Ryan Walsh's day against Army? The attackman had four-and-two on five shots with no turnovers to pace the Raiders to the second seed in the Patriot League Tournament. (Thompson went three-and-four against the Elis. He slows down for nobody.)

Do you have anything else to add from this weekend? The comments, they are yours.