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So, Uh, Freak Out, America: College Lacrosse Schedule for May 4, 2012

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In case you haven't noticed, College Crosse didn't publish any NCAA Tournament bracket projections this week. There was a very simple reason for that -- Such projections become useless the second actual games are played. I don't know where all the worms that are infecting every team's brains came from (other than "Planet Crazy Good Times"), but they're really turning the landscape into a zombie attack where potential danger lies blind-side and front-side. Way to go, crazy worms.

Anyway, it's an all-playoff Friday across the lacrosse nation. Six conference semifinals pluralize the slate while one conference final -- the ECAC out in Denver -- will give out a fancy trophy that people will gawk at in 150 years and say, "What are sports? Did the robots invent them before they enslaved us all?"

Here are you highlights for tonight:

  • MAAC Tournament Semifinals: Canisius squares its shoulders against Detroit while Siena will look to drop a Fat Boy on Marist in Poughkeepsie. Get yourself caught up on the tournament, son.
  • Ivy League Tournament Semifinals: Streaking Yale draws a Cornell squad that is itching for a win to get itself closer to the NCAA Tournament field while Princeton faces a Brown team that found the back door (Harvard left it open) to the conference's postseason. Late to the party? Here's everything you could possibly need to know.
  • NEC Tournament Semifinals: A dragon will play chess against Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the opener while the nightcap features your fourth grade report card assaulting your childhood. Just because it's imaginary doesn't mean that it doesn't matter.
  • ECAC Tournament Championship: Loyola looks to lock up a top-three NCAA seed with a potential win tonight out in the Rockies. Fairfield, contrastingly, is looking for a free bus ticket to the NCAA Tournament so that it doesn't have to sweat and eat their feelings on Sunday evening. Catch yourself up on anything you may have missed.

MAY 3, 2012
AWAY HOME TIME FUN FACTOR RANK
Canisius Detroit 4:30 2.0207 7
Yale Cornell 5:00 3.7731 3
Mount St. Mary's Robert Morris 5:30 3.4390 5
Fairfield Loyola 6:00 3.8232 2
Siena Marist 7:30 3.5879 4
Brown Princeton 8:00 4.3879 1
Quinnipiac Bryant 8:30 2.7109 6

Leave your comments about the games or anything else (QUERY: Do you still type out '8008' on your calculators?) in the comments below.