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John Danowski Has Big Dreams

I love this freaking guy.

Winslow Townson - Getty Images

I don't know what it is about John Danowski, but that guy is jake.1 Maybe its that he wore approximately four layers of Duke-emblazoned apparel -- sweatshirt, polo shirt, long-sleeved undershirt, underoos (assumed) -- during the downpour that was the Big City Classic last year. (That's a hell of a lot of human billboarding, and that kind of dedication deserves some respect.) Maybe it was the fact that he remained laser-focused during the NCAA Tournament last year. Perhaps it's because he's a Long Island boy to the bone and there ain't no Carolina barbeque that can ease that out of your genes.

Or, I don't know, maybe it's because Danowski's head melon is full of beautiful dreams:

It's not that the coach is worried about how the new stringing rules are going to impact his nuclear-grade offense; it's not that the new rules on restarts and substitutions are going to dictate how his staff pieces together a midfield seeking an identity; it's not a shot clock that is drawing his attention this late into September. No, John Danowski, more than anything, wants to learn how to turn an ax into a beautiful instrument of shredness, rocking faces and destroying your emotional core.

I love this guy. I also want him to blow the seats out of Lincoln Financial Field this coming Memorial Day when he gives the greatest rendition of the national anthem ever heard on a guitar, finishing the tune by lighting his piece on fire and raising his hands into the air like Stone Cold Steve Austin as he pounds two tall boys to celebrate this great nation.


1 "Jake" is an old-timey term for "alright" or "okay." Any decent grifter knows that, ace.