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Do you see that image up there. Yes? That's a picture of an angry shark. It's angry because it's a shark. Duh.
I'm running way behind today -- Momma, don't let your babies grow up to be tax attorneys -- so it's going to be a quick dip around the world of college lacrosse for the weekend. (Despite the fact, of course, that this may actually be one of the biggest weekends of the year. Figures.) I'm expecting big things out of you people this weekend. Big, important things. Don't disappoint me.
Here are your six highlights for the weekend:
- Bucknell at Lehigh: Holy macaroni! It should be quite the atmosphere in the Lehigh Valley tonight when the Bison come to town to help determine the Patriot League's sheriff. There's all kinds of implications attendant in this game, and it's a good thing that I did all the heavy lifting for you earlier this week.
- Navy at Army: America! There aren't too many things better than inter-academy athletics -- save for service-academy peace-keeping -- and West Point is going to be hosting a monster one this afternoon on CBS College Sports.
- Hofstra with North Carolina: The second-game of the ESPNU Warrior Classic -- if you pull the cockamamie sponsor names off of this thing it's just the Classic, which doesn't sound right even in broken English -- has mystery and intrigue. Can Hofstra finally get its grimy hands on a big ol' win? Will North Carolina put together a solid 60 minutes and get its head straight after the whupping it took against Virginia last week? I feel like the intro to this thing needs a narration written by Dashiell Hammett.
- Massachusetts at Drexel: THUNDERDOME! The Minutemen have been an unchecked serial killer this season while Drexel has been quietly hanging around against everyone they've played this year. (In the Dragons six losses this season, the total goal differential is only 10, five of which are attributable to a 14-9 defeat at the hands of Villanova.) Drexel isn't magnificent, but they also aren't a bag of ass. Massachusetts better be prepared for a war today in Pennsyltucky.
- Maryland at Johns Hopkins: Dun-dun-DUUUUUUNNNNN! Infographic!
- Loyola at Denver: Which team needs this game more? The Greyhounds or the Pioneers? (The answer is "Both," knucklehead.)
And here's the rest of the slate for the weekend:
| AWAY | HOME | TIME (E.T.) | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
| Ohio State | Michigan | 2:30 | 2.8112 | 16 |
| Harvard | Pennsylvania | 12:00 | 3.4310 | 12 |
| Jacksonville | Detroit | 12:00 | 2.3271 | 19 |
| Navy | Army | 12:00 | 3.0108 | 15 |
| Hobart | Bellarmine | 1:00 | 1.9596 | 21 |
| St. Joseph's | Delaware | 1:00 | 1.4190 | 23 |
| Dartmouth | Princeton | 1:00 | 3.9958 | 7 |
| Bryant | Quinnipiac | 1:00 | 2.4704 | 18 |
| Sacred Heart | Wagner | 1:00 | 0.7920 | 25 |
| Lafayette | Colgate | 1:00 | 3.8037 | 8 |
| Hofstra | North Carolina | 1:30 | 4.0928 | 6 |
| Massachusetts | Drexel | 2:00 | 4.7690 | 5 |
| Mercer | VMI | 2:00 | 0.0486 | 27 |
| Fairfield | Air Force | 2:00 | 4.8699 | 4 |
| Canisius | Siena | 3:00 | 3.0832 | 14 |
| Mount St. Mary's | Robert Morris | 4:00 | 2.6015 | 17 |
| Maryland | Johns Hopkins | 6:00 | 5.9018 | 3 |
| Bucknell | Lehigh | 7:00 | 6.1959 | 2 |
| Manhattan | Marist | 7:00 | 1.5849 | 22 |
| Stony Brook | UMBC | 7:00 | 3.3844 | 13 |
| Binghamton | Hartford | 7:00 | 3.7752 | 9 |
| Vermont | Albany | 7:00 | 1.1348 | 24 |
| Syracuse | Rutgers | 11:00 | 2.2351 | 20 |
| St. John's | Villanova | 7:00 | 3.6979 | 10 |
| Holy Cross | Providence | 7:00 | 0.6609 | 26 |
| Penn State | Towson | 7:30 | 3.6148 | 11 |
| Loyola | Denver | 9:00 | 6.2474 | 1 |
| AWAY | HOME | TIME (E.T.) | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
| Notre Dame | Georgetown | 1:00 | 3.4586 | 1 |
This is your open thread for Saturday and Sunday. Tax Day is Tuesday; don't forget to get your evasion in before then. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy. Tomorrow's games will appear in a post, well, tomorrow.
Also, if you haven't yet, give a "like" to College Crosse over on Facebook and make sure to give a follow to @SexyTimeLax.