One Game? One Damn Game?: College Lacrosse Schedule for March 9, 2012

There are 23 games tomorrow but only one tonight: Robert Morris -- they of a recently-received 24 goal shellacking at the hands of Colgate -- will travel to cosmopolitan Columbus, Ohio, to take on Logan Schuss and the Ohio State Buckeyes. There is zero heat on this game, mostly because it smells like the bad cheese that your grandmother gave you because you look like you haven't eaten anything in three weeks.

This is actually a good thing, though. I now have an evening to contemplate what I would call my puppy if I ever got one. Naming a dog is one of the most important things in life and if you screw it up it's impossible to fix. I mean, you could go with "Mittens" or "Sparkles" or some other cockamamie name that would make a seven year-old girl squeal from the vomit-inducing adorableness, but that's no fun. You need to really knock this out of the park and run-of-the-mill names just aren't going to cut it. Here are some of my early leaders:

• "Senator Bow-Wow." I'll put it in a bow tie and whenever he poops at the park I'll say that "the distinguished puppy from Puppytopia has made a motion for recess." The name is honorable and authoritative, perfect for a Jack Russell Terrier.
• "Kitty Cat." Because screw that dog, am I right?
• "The Right Reverend Cleveland J. Osmosis." Whenever he barks, I'll reply with an affirmative, "Preach!"

Anyway:

Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: Farting = always funny?) in the comments below.