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Wagner Cup and Reverse Survivor Update: Power Six Strike Team!

via <a href="http://images.lax.com/cimages/bigs/20/2068-67.jpg">images.lax.com</a>
via images.lax.com

This is where we separate the men from the boys and the boys from the kids that will that don't understand how sandboxes work. After this past weekend, there are four teams still in Reverse Survivor contention:

  • Quinnipiac: 0-4;
  • Vermont: 0-5;
  • Wagner: 0-5;
  • Albany: 0-5;
  • VMI: 0-6; and
  • Mercer: 0-7.

Now, there are a handful of other teams still eligible for the Wagner Cup, but it's the race for Reverse Survivor that is heating up faster than a two-dollar pistol at a police auction. All six remaining contenders are worthy participants in the race to win last (if ever), although their circumstances are each a little different.

QUINNIPIAC
Next Game: St. Joseph's (2-4) -- March 13, 2012
Likelihood of Victory: Average. Quinnipiac isn't exactly entering a weight lifting competition with a guy that is bench pressing Volkswagens.
Predicted Outcome of Next Game: Bloodied from a battle ax taken to the lower extremities by St. Joseph's, Quinnipiac will limp into Hartford this weekend attempting to become the first team ever to win with stumpy legs.

VERMONT
Next Game: Sacred Heart (2-3) -- March 17, 2012
Likelihood of Victory: You have a better chance of not running into someone slurring an, "IRISH! KIZZ MEEEEEE!" at you on Saturday than Vermont does to beat the Pioneers.
Predicted Outcome of Next Game: They're not going to write books about Sacred Heart's 2012 season -- and if they do, books should be outlawed all across the nation -- but the Pioneers are at least competitive in the overall while Vermont is focusing on the little things (like having everyone wear the same uniform). Pioneers by three, at least.

WAGNER // VMI
Next Game: March 13, 2012
Likelihood of Victory: Zero. Once VMI and Wagner face-off against each other, the world is to collapse upon itself for the lacrosse treachery that had been perpetrated upon Earth. This is the prophesy and it remains unchanged through the course of time.
Predicted Outcome of Next Game: Blood falling from the sky, seas boiling, the sky turning a brilliant orange, and then a calming nothingness of black.

ALBANY
Next Game: Bryant (3-2) -- March 17, 2012
Likelihood of Victory: Double-plus ungood. I didn't expect Albany to lose to Canisius; I also didn't expect Bryant to beat Drexel. The storm is coming, and Albany is still trying to put a roof on its shack.
Predicted Outcome of Next Game: Albany head coach Scott Marr sacrifices a live chicken in the locker room post-game in an effort to show his anger with the team's performance and also because that chicken and rice soup isn't going to make itself.

MERCER
Next Game: Manhattan (1-4) -- March 13, 2012
Likelihood of Victory: A game that ends 0-0 has no winner. (Wait, lacrosse games can't end in a tie? Can we call it, then, due to disinterest? Okay, get back to me on that when you get a chance.)
Predicted Outcome of Next Game: Manhattan probably wins, but your eyes will never tell you that because they will have been blinded by the pure terror that Mercer and Manhattan will engage in on Tuesday.