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Every Division I tournament. Every team. College Crosse has it all on lockdown. Please send cookies and naptime. Today we're slashing to bits the NEC Tournament.
If a conference doesn't get an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament and it still holds a postseason tournament, is it real? I've consulted numerous scientist-types for the answer and their responses were unanimous: "They let you write things on the Internet? Like, on purpose?" So, yeah, the NEC Tournament is definitely imaginary. If you have a problem with that, take it up with science.
A truncated team profile blunderbuss will follow, but for now, here's an overview of the 2012 NEC Tournament that you can study non-stop until your eyes bleed. Everything gets moving -- only in your mind -- on May 4, 2012.
CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT: NEC
No automatic bid! No mercy!
The reality of the NEC is that if Bobby Mo and Bryant don't somehow advance to the league's championship game, there will have been blood falling from the sky and Biblical vengeance storming Earth. The Colonials are one of the most-fun teams in the country to watch, not only because they rip around the field like plastic players on an electric football field, but also because their mascot looks like Elvis from 1685. Bryant has also been fairly impressive throughout 2012, hanging tough against Colgate and Yale and pulling out nice wins against Drexel, Albany, Stony Brook, and Brown. Mike Pressler knows the game -- which is good because he's being paid to coach it -- and the Bulldogs have just a good a shot at trophy-grabbing as the top-seeded Colonials.
Of course, none of this matters, though, as it's all totally imaginary.
Here's how each team stacks up in some legacy metrics:
| SEED | TEAM | PACE | RANK | AOE | RANK | ADE | RANK | AEM | RANK |
| 1. | Robert Morris | 74.71 | 4 | 35.69 | 9 | 33.74 | 52 | 1.95 | 29 |
| 2. | Bryant | 66.70 | 22 | 29.99 | 30 | 25.47 | 9 | 4.51 | 18 |
| 3. | Quinnipiac | 61.46 | 50 | 27.04 | 45 | 38.61 | 59 | -11.57 | 58 |
| 4. | Mount St. Mary's | 59.31 | 57 | 32.58 | 18 | 36.66 | 57 | -4.07 | 44 |
PACE = Number of possessions per 60 minutes.
AOE = Adjusted offensive efficiency (goals for per 100 offensive possessions).
ADE = Adjusted defensive efficiency (goals against per 100 defensive possessions).
AEM = Adjusted efficiency margin (AOE less ADE).
These are updated through all games played through May 2, 2012.
The last time that Robert Morris and Bryant played the Colonials squeezed past the Bulldogs, 13-12. Hopefully the weekend provides the same level of pants-crapping.
Here's the shakedown on the big offensive weapons taking the field this weekend:
| TEAM | NAME | T.O.V. | RANK | TEAM | NAME | T.O.V. | RANK | |||
| Robert Morris | J. Hayes | 10.3514 | 23 | Quinnipiac | M. Sagl | 7.5510 | 90 | |||
| Robert Morris | K. Matisz | 10.3514 | 23 | Quinnipiac | M. Diehl | 6.8202 | 118 | |||
| Robert Morris | D. Morton | 8.0313 | 76 | Quinnipiac | D. Webster | 5.5459 | 164 | |||
| Robert Morris | K. Buchanan | 6.6035 | 132 | Quinnipiac | B. Kostaras | 5.3588 | 187 | |||
| Robert Morris | C. Abbott | 4.9972 | 195 | Quinnipiac | B. Wilbur | 4.3844 | 200 | |||
| Mount St. Mary's | A. Scalley | 10.7796 | 18 | Bryant | P. McMahon | 6.9810 | 114 | |||
| Mount St. Mary's | Bre. Schmidt | 10.7796 | 18 | Bryant | C. Dunster | 6.8224 | 117 | |||
| Mount St. Mary's | Bry. Schmidt | 8.3297 | 69 | |||||||
| Mount St. Mary's | C. Kellett | 5.8798 | 161 |
T.O.V. = Total Offensive Value (individual points per 100 offensive possessions). This is updated through all games played through May 2, 2012.
Rank = National T.O.V. rank. This is updated through all games played through May 2, 2012.
So, that's your overview. Who are you taking to take home top honors?