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THUNDERDOME! Lacrosse Tournament: Let's Party Like It's Colonial 1765

Every Division I tournament. Every team. College Crosse has it all on lockdown. Please send cookies and naptime. Today we're slashing to bits the THUNDERDOME! Tournament.

The best thing about THUNDERDOME! was always that the guy with the biggest nail gun and nastiest scar didn't necessarily walked out of the arena the victorious, albeit wounded, champion. THUNDERDOME! rewards brutish fight and a blasted temper akin to a bear with a shotgun that just had his honey stolen. Yet, in 2012, Massachusetts kind of poured water all over the field's flaming boundary, running through the league unblemished with only one true bout that yielded some wounds: An overtime victory against Penn State out in Pennsylvania. Even the nasty middle of the league had itself worked out fairly early this season, which just isn't exciting in the context of "I WANT ALL THE MURDERS!" Regardless, it's all going down this week and, hopefully, the league can find some of the vengeance it had been missing most of the year.

Fancy infographics and detailed team profiles will follow, but for now, here's an overview of the 2012 THUNDERDOME! Tournament that you can study non-stop until your eyes bleed. Everything gets moving with the civilized bare-knuckle boxing starting on May 2, 2012.

CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT: THUNDERDOME!

Hate tons of possessions in a lacrosse game? Well, you're in luck, my boring friend! THUNDERDOME! is here to make sure that you don't see more than 60 possessions in your two hours of interest. As part of the bargain, THUNDERDOME! will throw in: One of the most dangerous offensive players the game has seen in five years; a Massachusetts offense that is sending opposing goalies to therapy with Daddy issues; a Penn State defense that strangles the life out of anything will lungs (they'd strangle things with gills if lacrosse was played in water, homeboy); and a Towson team that may not make it out of the second period of its semifinal game with its legs still attached to its collective body.

What a deal!

Here's how each team stacks up in some legacy metrics:

2012 THUNDERDOME! TOURNAMENT
SEED TEAM PACE RANK AOE RANK ADE RANK AEM RANK
1. Massachusetts 60.13 57 41.30 1 23.90 7 17.41 1
2. Penn State 61.76 50 28.93 37 24.69 9 4.24 20
3. Drexel 57.79 61 31.55 21 27.08 22 4.46 18
4. Towson 62.60 47 27.69 41 30.60 35 -2.91 42
PACE = Number of possessions per 60 minutes.
AOE = Adjusted offensive efficiency (goals for per 100 offensive possessions).
ADE = Adjusted defensive efficiency (goals against per 100 defensive possessions).
AEM = Adjusted efficiency margin (AOE less ADE).

That Penn State-Drexel semifinal should be all sorts of close, and whichever moves on to play Massachusetts -- assuming the inconceivable doesn't happen -- will provide a decent test for the nation's last unbeaten..

Here's the shakedown on the big offensive weapons taking the field this weekend:

WEAPONS OF CHOICE: THUNDERDOME!
TEAM NAME T.O.V. RANK TEAM NAME T.O.V. RANK
Massachusetts W. Manny 15.9809 1 Drexel R. Church 10.5153 22
Massachusetts A. Kell 10.0803 27 Drexel B. Glynn 7.5109 92
Massachusetts K. Smith 10.0803 27 Drexel K. Bergman 7.2605 103
Massachusetts A. Biscardi 6.3924 137 Drexel A. Prosser 6.7598 122
Massachusetts C. Fleming 6.3924 137
Massachusetts M. Fetterly 5.9007 162 Penn State J. Forster 9.8857 31
Penn State M. Mackrides 9.4035 42
Towson T. DeNapoli 6.4441 135 Penn State S. Sturgis 6.7512 123
Towson S. Maguire 5.9668 158

T.O.V. = Total Offensive Value (individual points per 100 offensive possessions). This is updated through all games played by April 29, 2012.
Rank = National T.O.V. rank. This is updated through all games played by April 29, 2012.

So, that's your overview. Who are you taking to take home top honors?