Every Division I tournament. Every team. College Crosse has it all on lockdown. Please send cookies and naptime. Today we're slashing to bits the THUNDERDOME! Tournament.
The best thing about THUNDERDOME! was always that the guy with the biggest nail gun and nastiest scar didn't necessarily walked out of the arena the victorious, albeit wounded, champion. THUNDERDOME! rewards brutish fight and a blasted temper akin to a bear with a shotgun that just had his honey stolen. Yet, in 2012, Massachusetts kind of poured water all over the field's flaming boundary, running through the league unblemished with only one true bout that yielded some wounds: An overtime victory against Penn State out in Pennsylvania. Even the nasty middle of the league had itself worked out fairly early this season, which just isn't exciting in the context of "I WANT ALL THE MURDERS!" Regardless, it's all going down this week and, hopefully, the league can find some of the vengeance it had been missing most of the year.
Fancy infographics and detailed team profiles will follow, but for now, here's an overview of the 2012 THUNDERDOME! Tournament that you can study non-stop until your eyes bleed. Everything gets moving with the civilized bare-knuckle boxing starting on May 2, 2012.
CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT: THUNDERDOME!
Hate tons of possessions in a lacrosse game? Well, you're in luck, my boring friend! THUNDERDOME! is here to make sure that you don't see more than 60 possessions in your two hours of interest. As part of the bargain, THUNDERDOME! will throw in: One of the most dangerous offensive players the game has seen in five years; a Massachusetts offense that is sending opposing goalies to therapy with Daddy issues; a Penn State defense that strangles the life out of anything will lungs (they'd strangle things with gills if lacrosse was played in water, homeboy); and a Towson team that may not make it out of the second period of its semifinal game with its legs still attached to its collective body.
What a deal!
Here's how each team stacks up in some legacy metrics:
| SEED | TEAM | PACE | RANK | AOE | RANK | ADE | RANK | AEM | RANK |
| 1. | Massachusetts | 60.13 | 57 | 41.30 | 1 | 23.90 | 7 | 17.41 | 1 |
| 2. | Penn State | 61.76 | 50 | 28.93 | 37 | 24.69 | 9 | 4.24 | 20 |
| 3. | Drexel | 57.79 | 61 | 31.55 | 21 | 27.08 | 22 | 4.46 | 18 |
| 4. | Towson | 62.60 | 47 | 27.69 | 41 | 30.60 | 35 | -2.91 | 42 |
AOE = Adjusted offensive efficiency (goals for per 100 offensive possessions).
ADE = Adjusted defensive efficiency (goals against per 100 defensive possessions).
AEM = Adjusted efficiency margin (AOE less ADE).
That Penn State-Drexel semifinal should be all sorts of close, and whichever moves on to play Massachusetts -- assuming the inconceivable doesn't happen -- will provide a decent test for the nation's last unbeaten..
Here's the shakedown on the big offensive weapons taking the field this weekend:
| TEAM | NAME | T.O.V. | RANK | TEAM | NAME | T.O.V. | RANK | ||
| Massachusetts | W. Manny | 15.9809 | 1 | Drexel | R. Church | 10.5153 | 22 | ||
| Massachusetts | A. Kell | 10.0803 | 27 | Drexel | B. Glynn | 7.5109 | 92 | ||
| Massachusetts | K. Smith | 10.0803 | 27 | Drexel | K. Bergman | 7.2605 | 103 | ||
| Massachusetts | A. Biscardi | 6.3924 | 137 | Drexel | A. Prosser | 6.7598 | 122 | ||
| Massachusetts | C. Fleming | 6.3924 | 137 | ||||||
| Massachusetts | M. Fetterly | 5.9007 | 162 | Penn State | J. Forster | 9.8857 | 31 | ||
| Penn State | M. Mackrides | 9.4035 | 42 | ||||||
| Towson | T. DeNapoli | 6.4441 | 135 | Penn State | S. Sturgis | 6.7512 | 123 | ||
| Towson | S. Maguire | 5.9668 | 158 |
T.O.V. = Total Offensive Value (individual points per 100 offensive possessions). This is updated through all games played by April 29, 2012.
Rank = National T.O.V. rank. This is updated through all games played by April 29, 2012.
So, that's your overview. Who are you taking to take home top honors?