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Do you see that image up there. Yes? That's a picture of an angry hedgehog. Well, that's not really a fair characterization; it's more of a disappointed hedgehog. It's disappointed because you really should've made him capture more rings. Way to go, jerk.
In terms of volume, this isn't all that heavy of a Saturday and Sunday slate: 22 games will be played, which is the lowest number of games over a weekend in a long time. ("HOW LONG WAS IT?" "Shut up.") There is, however, a ton of quality hanging out there, including the Patriot League championship on Sunday up in Hamilton, New York.
Here are your six highlights for the weekend:
- Johns Hopkins at Loyola: Well, I didn't write jack squat about this game this week. Whoops! Anyway, it's sold out, so if you were planning to go and were waiting for me to tell you all about it you're totally screwed. You can still watching on your Internet computing machine, though, right here. This game may make Baltimore simply swallow itself like a black hole, which will make Glen Burnie point and laugh. (And then not laugh as much because black holes eventually swallow everything. Science!)
- Ohio State at Fairfield: The Buckeyes and Stags will face each other next week out in Denver in the ECAC Tournament regardless of the outcome. So, you know, ramifications in this one are about on the level of me teaching you about the scientific wonders of black holes. Regardless: Logan Schuss! Sam Snow! Hooray for lacrosse!
- Bryant at Robert Morris: Without an automatic qualifier, the NEC is basically an abandoned puppy dog nosing through the trash. However, that doesn't take the shine off of Bulldogs-Colonials. Robert Morris plays as if they're next meal depends on whether they dump 20 in the net; Bryant is quietly lurking around the nation's 20-best teams and have a guy in a hat on the sideline that is as good as any. This one is going to decide the league's top-seed for its "Well, just try to have fun out there, guys!" postseason tournament, and it should deliver a little rainbow of happiness to Planet Little Guy.
- Syracuse at Notre Dame: There are zero consequences in this one and yet the Irish have sold out Arlotta for the game. I'm starting to love you just a little bit, Midwest lacrosse. The Orange need this one like crazy pants if it wants a path to the NCAA Tournament that doesn't include pulling off a somewhat improbable run to the Big East Tournament championship. Notre Dame is just looking to keep their gears oiled and protect that nobody-has-scored-double-digits-on-us-yet-this-year streak.
- Cornell at Princeton: The Tigers have already clinched at least a share of the Ivy League regular season title, but Saturday will shake out who will have the opportunity to host the conference's postseason tournament. La Universidad Corntes is still shaking off its mind-bending loss to Brown last weekend but still have enough juice to tackle Princeton and, if they're allocated the appropriate number of boats, the world.
- Hofstra at Penn State: Every week I say to myself that I'm not going to include any Hofstra games in the six-pack of game highlights. And yet, every week I seem to include Hofstra's game in the six-pack of game highlights. I wouldn't say that watching the Pride ("HOFBAMA!" "ROLL PRIDE!") is akin to gawking at a car wreck; it's probably closer to watching amateur surgery on TLC. Hofstra needs a win and some help -- namely, Towson crapping its pants against St. Joseph's -- for the Pride to leap-frog the Tigers into the THUNDERDOME! Tournament. Regardless of what happens in Philadelphia, its going to be hand-to-hand combat in Happy Valley, with only victory and loss of life as acceptable outcomes.
And here's the rest of the slate for the weekend:
| AWAY | HOME | TIME (E.T.) | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
| Hofstra | Penn State | 12:00 | 3.2716 | 9 |
| Mount St. Mary's | Wagner | 12:00 | 1.0780 | 21 |
| St. John's | Drexel | 1:00 | 2.4774 | 15 |
| Towson | St. Joseph's | 1:00 | 2.0009 | 18 |
| Johns Hopkins | Loyola | 1:00 | 4.4103 | 3 |
| Ohio State | Fairfield | 1:00 | 3.0621 | 11 |
| Bellarmine | Maryland | 1:00 | 3.5692 | 5 |
| Canisius | Marist | 4:00 | 2.2152 | 16 |
| Detroit | VMI | 2:00 | 1.6415 | 20 |
| Bryant | Robert Morris | 1:00 | 4.5242 | 2 |
| Harvard | Yale | 2:00 | 3.0893 | 10 |
| Villanova | Providence | 2:00 | 2.5007 | 14 |
| Dartmouth | Brown | 3:00 | 2.5217 | 13 |
| Syracuse | Notre Dame | 5:00 | 3.7249 | 4 |
| Quinnipiac | Sacred Heart | 7:00 | 1.6993 | 19 |
| Stony Brook | Albany | 7:00 | 3.3241 | 8 |
| Vermont | Hartford | 7:00 | 3.3634 | 7 |
| UMBC | Binghamton | 7:00 | 2.0995 | 17 |
| Air Force | Hobart | 7:00 | 3.4846 | 6 |
| Cornell | Princeton | 7:00 | 5.0311 | 1 |
| Siena | Manhattan | 7:00 | 2.7851 | 12 |
| AWAY | HOME | TIME (E.T.) | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
| Lehigh | Colgate | 3:00 | Billionty? | 1 |
This is your open thread for Saturday and Sunday. Love thy neighbor. (Unless, of course, your neighbor wants you to do something with him that involves yard work instead of watching lacrosse. Then, hate him until his eyes bleed.)
Also, if you haven't yet, give a "like" to College Crosse over on Facebook and make sure to give a follow to @SexyTimeLax.