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I Pooped My Pants!: College Lacrosse Schedule for February 9, 2012

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via <a href="http://grfx.cstv.com/photos/schools/osu/sports/m-lacros/auto_bsi_wide/7389846.jpeg">grfx.cstv.com</a>
via grfx.cstv.com

In lacrosse, there are three certainties:

  1. Wagner will add to its shades of awful in new and exciting ways each and every season.
  2. The Stanwick's will have children with names that require the ownership of a sloop.
  3. Detroit will attempt to play its entire season before the Ides of March.

This is the word of lacrosse. Amen.

Detroit is at it again tonight, shuttling itself down to Columbus, Ohio, to take on Logan Schuss -- one of the most efficient players in all of college lacrosse in 2011 -- and his band of Buckeyes at 7:00 P.M. After the curb stomping that the Titans took in the second half on Saturday against Delaware, Detroit is hot for some heat (is that a thing?) and may have the chance to finish the job it couldn't complete last year at the Woody Hayes Athletic Complex.

This raises an important issue: Ohio State has a facility named after a cat that slugged a kid on the football field. Columbus goes HAM or it doesn't go at all.

Of course, on paper, the Buckeyes have the advantage in every reasonable form of measure, especially in the "We're not Detroit" category. I'd be shocked if the Titans managed to scoot past Ohio State, but crazier things have happened.

FEBRUARY 9, 2012
TEAM TEAM TIME FUN FACTOR RANK
Detroit Ohio State 7:00 N/A 1


Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: Recipes shouldn't have arsenic in them, right? I mean, I shouldn't put this in my mouth, right?) in the comments below.