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That's a picture of an angry seal. Do you know why he's angry? It's because those damn baby seals keep running on his ice floe to get their damn frisbees. You can tell it's angry because it's shaking its seal fist at them and screaming, "Get off my damn ice floe, you damn baby seals! Why I oughta. . . ."
Last weekend was the first big weekend in college lacrosse; this weekend is the first huge two-day stretch. There are 24 games on the docket for today with six more being played tomorrow. That's a lot of lacrosse and you better have your cooler stocked appropriately.
Here are a few notables for today; take out your highlighter, tell the kids that Daddy is busy and that his secretary -- Mommy -- is taking all calls and requests for him today, and drink in all of this hot and sexy action:
- Drexel at Albany: Albany is smarting from a lashing it took up in the Carrier Dome last Sunday; Drexel is looking to rebound from a heartbreaking loss to Virginia at home last Saturday. The six-dozen Thompson family members that dot the Great Danes roster have enough to get past the Blazers, but Drexel comes from THUNDERDOME! and it's always ready for a chains-and-brass knuckles fight.
- Cornell at Hobart: The nation's first look at Rob Pannell and the Big Red comes this afternoon. Cornell shouldn't have too much difficultly dispatching the Statesmen, but Central New York -- especially when near Seneca Lake -- is notorious for eating its own, especially when the expectation is just to get a run in and work out the kinks. Let's see those fish fly, 'Bart!
- Towson at Loyola: Did you hear that Towson's head coach, Sean Nadelen, killed a live pot belly pig after the Tigers loss to Johns Hopkins last Friday? No? Me neither, then. The Greyhounds will look to build on its opening weekend defeat of Delaware at home.
- Massachusetts at Ohio State: Will Manny. Logan Schuss. Lacrosse sticks at 1:00 P.M. at 10 paces. FIRE!
- Hofstra at Princeton: This would probably the game of the day if Massachusetts and Ohio State weren't going at it, but that's like eating fat-free Oreo cookies instead of real Oreo cookies full of delicious fat. Hofstra looked pretty uninspiring last week hosting Sacred Heart and after Princeton's year-long pursuit of constipation in 2011, the jury is still out on the Tigers. The game is worth the follow, but it may be ugly.
- Bucknell at Villanova: In its effort to defeat all of Pennsylvania and plant a crosse in the ground, claiming all that it can see in the Keystone State as the property of Villanova lacrosse, the Wildcats host hard-luck Bucknell. It should be a good test for both clubs, although one more heartbreak for the Bison may send them into a eat-your-feelings binge.
- Siena at Johns Hopkins: Yee-haw! What say you, Dave Pietramala?
HOME | AWAY | TIME (E.T.) | FUN FACTOR | RANK |
Air Force | Robert Morris | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Harvard | Vermont | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
Navy | North Carolina | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
Delaware | Mount St. Mary's | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
Virginia | Stony Brook | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
Albany | Drexel | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Binghamton | Lafayette | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Colgate | Dartmouth | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Fairfield | Bryant | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Hartford | Holy Cross | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Hobart | Cornell | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Loyola | Towson | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Mercer | Detroit | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Ohio State | Massachusetts | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Princeton | Hofstra | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Quinnipiac | Brown | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
Sacred Heart | Marist | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Villanova | Bucknell | 12:00 | N/A | N/A |
VMI | St. Joseph's | 11:00 | N/A | N/A |
Yale | St. John's | 1:30 | N/A | N/A |
Denver | Michigan | 3:30 | N/A | N/A |
Lehigh | Manhattan | 2:00 | N/A | N/A |
Providence | Wagner | 1:00 | N/A | N/A |
Johns Hopkins | Siena | 3:00 | N/A | N/A |
Your nationally televised games for today are:
- Stony Brook at Virginia: ESPN3
- Siena at Johns Hopkins: ESPNU and ESPN3
This is your open thread for Saturday. If your pet makes a mess, please pick it up and dispose of it properly. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy. Tomorrow's games will appear in a post, well, tomorrow.
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