Be My Valentine (Wait, That Was Yesterday and We're Not Dating Anymore? Drats!): College Lacrosse Schedule for February 15, 2012

You guys!

It's a pretty special day out there, you guys. Outside of Christmas, a perfect flossing effort of my pearly whites, and being given a brand new DeLorean, there are few things more exciting than a Wagner College Seahawks game day. You see, Wagner hasn't won a Division I men's lacrosse game since April 24, 2010. That's over 660 days -- human days, not robot overlord days (we'll switch to that calendar in seven years when they enslave us all) -- without a Gatorade bath and wind sprints run out of pride and not punishment.

Wagner, as you may remember, is the reigning Wagner Cup champions, a distinction awarded to the absolute worst team in Division I lacrosse; the most tired of the tired, the most impoverished the poor, the most ass-reddened of the summarily beaten. The Seahawks are also the reigning co-holders of the Reverse Survivor championship, a honor shared with St. Joseph's University.

So, you know, I'm pretty pumped to watch Wagner meander through another season of "meh," and it all starts tonight at West Point.

Army isn't what it was in 2011, nor what it was in 2010. With the departures of Jeremy Boltus and stalwart netminder Tom Palesky, the Black Knights have a different look in 2012. Joe Alberici's system, however, is still in place and Garrett Thul returns. Thus, given the fact that that Wagner is a dumpster fire located at the tire fire facility, Army should bludgeon the Seahawks into submission.

Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: How many Army players have Adele on heavy rotation on their iPods?) in the comments below.