Australia 4, Canada 12
Iroquois 5, United States 18
England 12, Japan 13 (OT)
Germany 1, Israel 15
Latvia 15, Norway 8
Spain 6, Russia 11
Colobmia 6, Argentina 13
Mexico 10, Italy 18
Costa Rica 3, Korea 23
Scotland 16, New Zealand 12
Switzerland 7, Wales 5
Turkey 6, Slovakia 5 (OT)
Thailand 14, China 10
Belgium 10, Uganda 4
Finland 7, Netherlands 6
Hong Kong 15, Bermuda 11
Czech Republic 10, Ireland 12
Austria 15, France 4
Poland 3, Sweden 6
Selected Division I Impact
The Lil' Latvian Lasdas -- Riley and Eli (Albany) -- are well on their way (I think; reading this bracket requires 10 years experience as a CIA code breaker) to fighting for 17th place in the tournament (if everything breaks in their favor). At worst, the Lasdas will finish their tournament with no worse than a 24th place ribbon (possibly). The midfielders combined for three goals and five assists -- Eli was responsible for the bulk of the Lasda production with two goals and four helpers -- while taking a combined eight shots. The Lasdas were also feisty against Norway, combining for 2:30 in penalties, featuring a cross-check and a slash. WELCOME TO BLOODSPORT!
The Ruskies and their Division I spies -- Jordan Friedman (Colgate), Nick Koshansky (Notre Dame), and Jacob Richards (Vermont) -- are on a path to finish anywhere from 25th to 32nd place (maybe? I'm just spitballin' here) in the tournament (but the Russian media will report the red as having totally annihilated the competition en route to an undefeated campaign and the impregnation of many women). Nick Koshansky received a reprieve from his Siberian death sentence and returned to the field today for Mother Russia, scoring a goal, taking seven shots, winning one of three faceoffs, and committing two penalties that will be met with honors of distinction in Moscow. Jordan Friedman apparently scored three goals on five shots while starting on attack for Russia, which is really odd because Friedman is a long-stick midfielder/defenseman for Colgate (Ministry of Truth!). Jacob Richards scored three goals and had an assist while taking five shots -- another offensive showcase from a defensive-minded player. Nothing makes sense in Russia.
The Azzurri -- not unlike Latvia (I honestly have no clue) -- have a chance to finish anywhere from 17th to 24th (I swear to God that I'm in the matrix). Thomas Flibotte (Bucknell) assured the Italians of a there's-no-possible-way-we-can-finish-last outcome with his three points on a goal and two assists (Flibotte helped Jordan Vettoretti on two of Vettoretti's six buckets). Interestingly, Flibotte went four-for-four on faceoff attempts; Flibotte hasn't taken one draw for the Bison in his career. This is almost the plot to a Wes Anderson film.
Michael Tsiang (Villanova) went 15-23 at the faceoff dot against Thailand. For the tournament, the Wildcat is drawing at 61.29 percent, pitching in two goals and an assist while taking 26 shots (shooting 7.69 percent). Tsiang has had his best performances on the whistle in his last two games, winning over 65 of his draws against Thailand and almost 75 percent of his faceoffs against Argentina. The Chinese are now in a position where they will play for anywhere from 33rd to 36th place (assuming that my cereal box decoder has correctly decrypted this bracket).
The English finished pool division play with a winless record, losing five straight games and generating a -54 goal differential. This is what happens when you use superfluous vowels in words. Max Sexton (Penn State) was a small bright spot for the Three Lions, pumping in two goals on three shots, his tallies drawing the Brits within one on each blast. Max Bonsall (Siena) got burn and forced a turnover. England is officially out of contention for this year's championship (I'm just assuming this because serving food on newspaper -- like fish and chips -- should disqualify a nation from any championship), eligible to finish anywhere from fifth place to 12th place (again -- I have no actual clue if this is true or not).
The Finnish are quietly having a strong tournament. In a position to earn a finish between ninth and 16th (I'm just pissing in the wind over here), Finland could emerge as one of the forgotten-yet-impressive stories from the event. The team's four current Division I players -- Hayden Johnstone (Stony Brook), Eric Cooley (Rutgers), Anssi Kaisalmi (Mercer), and Nick Ranta (Furman) -- all contributed to the team's one-goal victory over the Netherlands. All celebrated the win with a traditional Finnish dish: Quiet solitude.
The Brothers Smith -- Dickson (Virginia) and Eric (Michigan) -- continue to pummel the competition into dust. Combining for two penalties and three minutes of infraction time (Dickson earned two minutes for illegal body checking and Eric followed his big brother's lead with an illegal body check of his own), the Smiths are putting the "Killing Them" in "Sweden is Killing Them" (that's Sweden's official name on its sovereign nation documentation). The Swedes, like Finland, have a chance to finish anywhere from ninth to 16th in the tournament (I'm probably lying about that). PREPARE FOR THE TORNIO RIVER SHOOTOUT!
The Iroquois ended up taking fewer shots (14) than the U.S. scored goals.
Warren Hill (Syracuse) was lifted after the first half. Lyle Thompson (Albany) finished with two assists. Randy Staats (Syracuse) had a dismal two-shot performance. Zach Miller (Denver) finished with a goal -- a slick finish -- on two shots. The Iroquois are still in the hunt for the championship, but must go through Scotland and Canada before getting a crack at the gold. The Iroquois can finish no worse than eighth in the field (this is totally right or totally nonsense).
Wes Berg (Denver) finished with a goal and an assist for the Canadians against Australia, complementing Jesse King's (Ohio State) one-goal effort. I'm assuming that when they score, Canadian healthcare covers the post-traumatic stress of making an opponent experience hurt feelings. Team Toboggan closed Blue Division play with a second place finish, earning a bye to the championship semifinals where they'll await the winner of Iroquois-Scotland (or they'll just politely return to Canada).
Today's Heat (ET)
10:30 A.M.: Turkey v. Italy (ESPN3)
11:00 A.M.: Switzerland v. Ireland
11:00 A.M.: Belgium v. Russia
1:00 P.M.: Sweden v. Finland
1:30 P.M.: Latvia v. Hong Kong
2:00 P.M.: New Zealand v. Japan (ESPN3)
2:00 P.M.: Thailand v. Austria
4:00 P.M.: Germany v. England
6:00 P.M.: Scotland v. Iroquois (ESPN3)
9:00 P.M.: Israel v. Australia (ESPN3)