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Important Lacrosse News: MOAR TUG O' WAR

I'm telling you. This is becoming a thing.

First, the lid was blown open on the Albany Tug o' War Club. The things we saw, man; you can't un-see that stuff. It was absolutely gripping footage, seeing a man dragged across the floor while his opponent crawls toward a youth soccer cone. The scars on our minds will take decades to heal, if ever.

Now? Now it's all starting to come into focus. Partially-sanctioned tug o' war competitions are running rampant throughout college lacrosse, laying waste to rope and stuff and injuring pride all over the place. This is a menace, people, and Siena is the latest school to have its reputation all caught up in this tug o' war phenomenon.

To the breakdown!

0:00: A traditional approach, each man standing apart from each other while holding a big rope. This is excellent conditioning for a future in longshoremanship.

0:02: Man down! Wait, he's back up. Continue tugging as if this were war!

0:08: I just noticed this relative to the official: I understand the whistle, but is a clipboard really necessary here? What is up with clipboards and tug o' war competitions in the capital region of New York? Is there an overall leaderboard somewhere that I'm not aware of?

0:11: Momentum is moving left! This is obviously the work of a yellow stripe on his shorts. It is powerful and forebodes tug o' war sorcery. Guy-on-the-right is probably screwed.

0:12: Yup, he's screwed.