2015 NCAA Basketball Tournament: Your Lacrosse Rooting Interests in the Elite 8 (Sunday)

Employing the wisdom of Baltimore Man has yielded a 5-4 record in . . . whatever the hell we're doing here. This makes no sense and neither does the existence of Baltimore Man, potentially creating a synergy in the universe that has bent basketball results in the favor of lacrosse concerns. This is clearly the only explanation for a plus-.500 record through the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight.

Your rooting interests for today are as follows:

• (7) Michigan State v. (4) Louisville: Michigan State. The Spartans are the choice here given the fact that Michigan State once had a Division I men's lacrosse experience and Louisville has merely glanced at the item through a storefront window, but there is something important here to discuss: Jason Statham -- famous for being in Jason Statham movies -- is in Furious 7. I don't know what a Fast and the Furious movie looks like when it is combined with a Jason Statham movie, but I'm assuming that things will explode and Jason Statham will vow vengeance against somebody and that somebody will eventually get a roundhouse kick to the chest. This is the apex of movie making, people.
• (2) Gonzaga v. (1) Duke: Duke. Gonzaga is clearly not a lacrosse school. Things that Gonzaga could be: a Russian compact car; a sandwich delivery app; the main character in a mad cap tween novel; a part of the body that doesn't show up on x-ray scans; or a race car move that Richard Petty invented.

Here's your full schedule for today: