Our lacrosse-based basketball picks went 2-2 last night. That's not miserable! Considering that absolutely no effort was made to actually consider the outcome of a basketball game based on, you know, basketball things, picking winners exclusively on lacrosse rooting interests is arguably better than using the gunk between your ears. Look: The record doesn't lie -- half the games were decided by lacrosse factors that were unseen but felt on the hoops hardwood. This is an undeniable truth that science will soon prove in a science report.
Your rooting interests for tonight are as follows:
- (11) UCLA v. (2) Gonzaga: [404 Error] There is no point in playing this basketball game. UCLA has no Division I men's tradition and the PAC 12 is a men's lacrosse nihilist. Gonzaga sounds like an off-brand type of Slip 'n Slide. Let's just assume that both teams will pass on playing basketball tonight and instead determine which team will advance to the Elite Eight by a cooking competition where the secret ingredient is glue.
- (8) North Carolina State v. (4) Louisville: North Carolina State. The Wolfpack are not forgotten. Important fact about N.C. State: John Tesh -- the composer of Roundball Rock and the dispenser of potentially dangerous and medically-questionable life advice on easy listening stations across the country -- played for the Wolfpack back in the '70's. Louisville can't touch North Carolina State's lacrosse history and what the Wolfpack unknowingly unleashed on America.
- (5) Utah v. (1) Duke: Duke. Does Brendan Fowler play for the Blue Devils basketball team? Probably! In his career at Duke, Fowler has played lacrosse, wrestled (probably not in one of those Mexican wrestling masks while hailing from Parts Unknown or Your Worst Nightmare), been on television as a television person, built a particle accelerator that takes the fizziness out of soda, led a revolution in Burma with only a moped and the dreams of freedom, and colonized the moon. I'm assuming he can go for 40 against the Utes tonight.
- (7) Michigan State v. (3) Oklahoma: Michigan State. [taps heart; points finger to the sky]:
MSU has a proud lacrosse history, beginning in 1963, the program recently celebrated its 50th anniversary this past year. The program attained varsity status in 1970, and was cut as a varsity sport in 1996 to comply with Title IX. The program now continues competitive play as a Division I club.
Miss you, boo.
Here's your full schedule for tonight:
|(11) UCLA v. (2) Gonzaga||7:15 P.M.||NRG Stadium, Houston||CBS // Web|
|(8) North Carolina State v. (4) Louisville||7:37 P.M.||Carrier Dome, Syracuse||TBS // Web|
|(5) Utah v. (1) Duke||9:45 P.M.||NRG Stadium, Houston||CBS // Web|
|(7) Michigan State v. (3) Oklahoma||10:07 P.M.||Carrier Dome, Syracuse||TBS // Web|
Here is some stuff from our sister sites around the SB Nation network:
- Bruins Nation: UCLA Rematch with Gonzaga
- The Slipper Still Fits: Preview: Gonzaga, UCLA Battle for Elite 8 Berth
- Backing the Pack: Possible Sweet Sixteen X-Factor
- Card Chronicle: 5 Ways Louisville is Better Now than a Month Ago
- Block U: How Can Utah Beat Duke?
- Duke Basketball Report: Living in the Moment
- The Only Colors: Oklahoma Hoops Preview: Tighten Up
- Crimson and Cream Machine: ESPN's Fran Fraschilla Weighs in on OU & Sweet 16