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Michigan's Spring Break

The sleeve monster is a very real threat in Florida.

Michigan took a spring break trip to Florida to play Jacksonville and soak up the sun a little bit. This is the visual proof of what happened. Let's break this thing down:

0:21: The sleeve monster is out and stalking Jacksonville's field. There's already one victim. Please remain vigilant.

0:43: Roller coasters! This is important: There is no reason to visit an amusement park other than to ride roller coasters. This is a fact. I understand the allure of paying $15 for a bag of stale popcorn -- every item of food and drink in an amusement park is priced at end-of-the-world rates -- but roller coasters are the best. I'm pretty sure physics and engineering only continue as academic pursuits in order to build better and faster roller coasters.

0:47: "It's gotta be about 80 frickin' degrees." SPRING SPORT!

1:08: "We're gonna give you an extra half an hour. . . ." Awesome! That's enough time to ride the wait-in-a-line ride!

1:15: OH, CRAP! THE SLEEVE MONSTER IS IN ORLANDO, TOO!

1:31: THE SLEEVE MONSTER CLAIMS TWO MORE VICTIMS!

1:36: That's a roller coaster. I know it's a fun roller coaster because it's a roller coaster, and therefore it is fun.

1:40: THE SLEEVE MONSTER IS STARVING AND ATE ALL OF THOSE SHIRTS! THIS IS A NATIONAL CATASTROPHE!

1:48: My, God. The sleeve monster is destroying Michigan's sleeves! Look at all of the damage it has done! At least 25% of Michigan's team has been attacked by the sleeve monster. Please alert the Red Cross!

1:54: THE SLEEVE MONSTER IS BACK IN JACKSONVILLE! IS THERE MORE THAN ONE SLEEVE MONSTER?! IS FLORIDA OVERRUN WITH SLEEVE MONSTERS?! WHY ISN'T THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA REPORTING ON THIS?!

1:58: Roller coasterin'! I like this roller coaster because it's a roller coaster.

2:16: Note to the authorities: The sleeve monster attacks outside and inside. This is a major development in the attacking habits of the sleeve monster.

2:19: That's a big muscle, but not big enough to stop the sleeve monster.

2:44: Back left -- sleeve monster victim. Still walking, luckily. He survived the attack and has the tan line to prove it.

2:54: If I had gotten my face painted like a dog, I would've harassed my teammates to give me belly rubs all afternoon. Alternatively -- did he paint his face like a dog in order to intimidate the sleeve monster?