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Ohio State Goes Off the Grid

There were zip lines. So many zip lines.

Sometimes you gotta get away from it all, man. Simplify. Just get 40 of your buddies into a coach bus and drive out to nowhere special, relying on nothing but wit and guile to get you through the day. And whitewater rafts. And helmets. And those inflatable things that you jump on that propels your buddy into the sky. And zip lines. Lord knows you need zip lines, man. Just you and nature, man. And zip lines.

Let's break this down:

0:11: It's like watching someone's reel-to-reel photo album of their vacation. Bring me some scones, now!

0:20: If you're name is "Ace" you're either (1) A NASCAR driver, or (2) A trucker with the best CB radio handle ever invented.


0:40: I love playing "Will this kill me?!" It's my favorite.

0:50: Stop-motion fun. It's almost like real fun, but glitchy and seizure-inducing.

1:22: Today's physics lesson: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

1:29: We have zip lining. I repeat: Zip lining is happening. A board of directors somewhere has been displaced from their team-building exercises so that Ohio State could Go-Pro their feelings.

1:32: What the hell kind of wilderness has a paved parking lot?

2:13: More zip lining. I repeat: Zip lining is happening again. "Well my name's Pete Nichols and this is my wife Donna, and uh... make a long story short, we came out here to see our relatives who live down in Moab. They uhhh been livin' there about twenty years now, and uh, long story short, they told us that as long as we were in the Rockies we should try ziplining, so, long story short, we looked around in the newspapers and on the Internet and... on billboooards, and... you know, make a long story short, we found this company and thought we'd give 'er a try, so then we called and, we made a reservation, and that's when, you know, long story short, we just thought-"

2:18: Even more zip lining. Ohio State better play with some merit badges on their uniforms this season.