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Four Collegians Make Team Canada Roster

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Denver put two current players on the Team Canada roster. They are considered armed and Canadian.

Clive Rose

Someone from Team Canada sat atop the nation's Formal Announcement Moose and made the following declaration today:

Attention Loggers:

Please remove your toques and lend me your ears. If any of these 24 people are on your summer toboggan sledding teams, you're out of luck.

He then went on to name 24 men with high levels of maple syrup in their blood, the true sign of a Canadian on a sugar high and something to prove against Team USA. Of those 24 individuals, four -- !!!! -- are currently living in America as (probably) dangerous illegal aliens, playing for one of three college lacrosse teams:

CURRENT COLLEGIANS NAMED TO TEAM CANADA
NAME POSITION COLLEGE IS A DIRTY CANADIAN?
Wes Berg Attack Denver Yup.
Brennan Donville Goalie Cornell Yup.
Jesse King Midfield Ohio State Yup.
Jeremy Noble Midfield Denver Yup.
These four owners of Alanis Morisette's entire catalogue of whatever-the-hell-it-is-she-sings will compete at this summer's FIL World Championships in Denver, Colorado in July. They will pay dearly for the crimes that their nation committed against the United States -- we have not forgotten about Bryan Adams, you sons of superfluous vowels! -- when they face Team USA (featuring Loyola's Joe Fletcher) in the competition's elite Blue Division.