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2014 NCAA Lacrosse Tournament: Duke Support Staff Travels Through the Old Testament to Reach Baltimore

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"Stay calm. We're all going to die."

Mike Hewitt

It's 289 miles from Durham, North Carolina to Baltimore, Maryland. In that span, Duke's support staff -- including photographer Peyton Williams -- encountered every bit of vengeful, wrath-of-God weather from the Old Testament possible save for locusts and the coming of Gozer the Gozerian.

Things seemed to go sideways on the trip when the team's support staff bus got to Richmond (about halfway through the ride):

How many breakup songs from country artists start with those exact words? A hail storm is still better than what happens in Texas when it rains mud. (The guy in that video is a certified Texas meteorologist with advanced degrees in Atmospheric Science and Shit, Gladys -- It's Rainin' Friggin' Mud.) That's when you know that it's time to buy guns and prepare for the coming robot apocalypse.

[slowly backs away from computer keyboard] God really doesn't want Duke to win this year.

I don't know what's the most incredible aspect of this picture: (1) The depth of the flooding (it doesn't look like mere ponding); (2) The fact that the highway moving in the opposite direction looks absolutely fine (was this a localized storm cloud over the Duke bus, following it like Charlie Brown?); (3) The bus driver -- in tie and vest -- is dressed better than I am at my white collar job; or (4) That the GPS system above the side mirror isn't flashing a red "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE" over a picture of the devil cackling with bleeding eyes.