True College Lacrosse Tax Facts

As a side job to making trillions of dollars writing and editing College Crosse, I work for a big ol' accounting firm in its tax practice. Tax Day is kind of the pinnacle of my existence: Nobody cares what I do for 364 days a year, but on Tax Day I'm the most popular cat on the planet, dispensing important tax knowledge all over the place.

In law school, the most important principle I learned about tax came from a somewhat insane professor that was both the smartest person I ever met and also the most likely to stick-up an ice cream truck with a Wii gun just for giggles. This is what he told me: "Tax is like a creepy uncle: it touches everything." With that in mind, here is how tax concepts are impacting college lacrosse this season.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact I: The Big East can claim Rutgers as a dependent this year.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact II: Furman -- the nation's leader in unforced giveaways per 100 offensive opportunities -- is going to claim a sizeable charitable donation deduction.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact III: VMI's upset of Air Force earlier this season counts as a casualty loss for the Falcons.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact IV: Mercer's mid-season defeat of Texas is not recognized as income under controlling authority. Claiming the win as income will result in an adjustment of Mercer's return.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact V: Notre Dame may need to report unemployment compensation if the Irish fail to make the NCAA Tournament this season due to (1) a record under .500, or (2) the potential decision of the selection committee to exclude the Irish from The Big Barbecue.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact VI: Ryan Boyle may take a deduction for educator expenses due to his concise and cogent color commentary on ESPNU.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact VII: Albany's practice time is deductible as treatment for schizophrenia.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact VIII: Bill Tierney's intensity eye lasers likely qualify for a tax credit as renewable resource or alternative energy technology.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact IX: Loyola can claim as a deduction any expenses incurred traveling to Patriot League opponents. These expenses are essentially alimony as the 'Hounds have been the Patriot League's daddy.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact X: Wind sprints are technically deductible professional fees.

True College Lacrosse Tax Fact XI: The Thompson Trio is taxed as a utility as they are a power plant that generates electricity.