St. Joseph's Ultimate Warrior

First, to create the appropriate mood:

Now, to the most important news of the last 1,000 years: ST. JOSEPH'S LACROSSE GIVES OUT A CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BELT FOR . . . SOMETHING:

[Mean Gene Okerlund interviews St. Joseph's lacrosse, and the Hawks unload on their nemeses]

"WE SEE YOU VILLANOVA AND DREXEL AND PENN AND PHILADELPHIA ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US! DO YOU SEE THIS BELT! THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP BELT! IF YOU WANT THIS BELT YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO HAVE YOUR FACE SMASHED IN AT LACROSSE SURVIVOR SERIES! WE ALREADY CRUSHED VMI AND WAGNER AND MONMOUTH AT THE ROYAL LACROSSE RUMBLE AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: PHILADELPHIA ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR MORE THAN ONE CHAMPION! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME?! YOU BETTER BE! THE HAWKS ARE GONNA FLY -- [MAKES HAWK CAW TO THE DELIGHT OF FANS] -- HIGHER THAN ANY OTHER!"