College Lacrosse Schedule for March 12, 2014

Your Russian dashboard cam animated .gif of the day:

"It happened again, Svetlana. I swear to God! I'm late for dinner because a tank stopped traffic! No, Svetlana. Listen. No. Fine. Yes. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Anyway, there are two games today. Here are your highlights:

• Robert Morris at Siena: Here's today's afternoon forecast for Loudonville, N.Y.: "Rain and snow before 1 P.M., then rain between 1 P.M. and 2 P.M., then freezing rain after 2 P.M. High near 36. North wind 8 to 13 M.P.H. Chance of precipitation is 100%. Total daytime ice accumulation of 0.1 to 0.2 of an inch possible. Little or no snow accumulation expected." Delightful.
• Quinnipiac at Hartford: This game is a microsom of my 3L year of law school: Spending most of my time in New Haven County and commuting to Hartford to clerk for a federal judge. The singular function of I-91 and I-84 -- to unite fungible Connecticut vanilla with other fungible Connecticut vanilla -- is the apex of the Connecticut experience: Bland compounded with undistinctive blah exacerbated by uninspiring monotony. Constitution State, politely stand up and don't make a fuss!

Here's today's full schedule with links to things so that you can monitor the carnage:

Leave your thoughts about the games or anything else (QUERY: It's kind of crazy that flux capacitors aren't available for retail purchase in 2014, no?) in the comments below.