Towson Lacrosse Schedule: Maryland, Ahoy!

PROGRAM SCHEDULE PROPAGANDA: PRESS RELEASE
THIS IS WHY WE FIGHT: THE SCHEDULE

Here are some schedule highlights and games of note:

The Road to the Maryland State Championship
February 4: Maryland; February 10: Johns Hopkins; February 17: Loyola; February 27: at Mount St. Mary's; March 3: at Navy; March 7: at UMBC

There are seven Division I schools located in Maryland, including Towson. The Tigers -- in an apparent effort to get the school's seal emblazoned on the Maryland state flag as the jurisdiction's state lacrosse champion -- will play all six of Maryland's other Division I programs in 2015, filling up 40 percent of its regular season slate with opponents that have an affection for Wedding Crashers -- a horrendous movie that should be sent on a trash rocket destined for the sun -- only because there's a reference to crab cakes and things that "Maryland does." The last time that Towson attempted to win the Maryland state championship came in 2011, a season in which the Tigers went 1-5 (beating only Mount St. Mary's) against Free State teams while holding an average margin of defeat of about a goal per game against such opponents.

Here's how Towson's series histories against fellow Maryland-based schools look:

Winning a fictional title is hard work, college boy.

The Road to the THUNDERDOME! Hospital Visit
March 28: Massachusetts; April 4: at Delaware; April 11: at Fairfield; April 18: Hofstra; April 25: at Drexel

THUNDERDOME! is rough. THUNDERDOME! is even rougher when you have to travel to more opponent death cells than your own. Exacerbated by the fact that there are no breaks in THUNDERDOME!'s endless trail of explosions and pain, the Tigers' run to whatever the hell THUNDERDOME! will look like in May is lined with terror and opportunities to both die and decapitate those that stand in the way of wounded victory.

The fruits of that thought is born out in ugly ways for the Tigers:

• In the last 10 seasons the Tigers have earned either the one- or two-seed in the THUNDERDOME! Tournament five times -- 2010, 2009, 2007, 2006, and 2005 -- and failed to earn the league's championship all but once -- in 2005 -- in each of those seasons, bowing out of the tournament four times in the championship. THUNDERDOME! leaves no team unharmed.
• In the last 10 seasons the Tigers have failed to make the THUNDERDOME! Tournament twice (2011 and 2008) and have entered the postseason as the league's three- or four-seed three times (2014, 2013, and 2012). In the three times that Towson has entered the THUNDERDOME! Tournament as a low seed, the Tigers have bowed out of the tournament twice in the quarterfinals and made an insane run to the league's automatic invitation to the NCAA Tournament in 2013. In fact, in four of the last 10 THUNDERDOME! Tournaments, a three- or four-seed has won the championship while a one-seed has earned the title only twice. THUNDERDOME! just plain doesn't care.
• Over the last 10 seasons the Tigers have made the most THUNDERDOME! Tournament appearances among teams eligible for the postseason (Delaware, Hofstra, and Drexel come in with seven appearances in the same period). Towson's average seed in those tournaments is 2.25, the second highest among programs with at least five THUNDERDOME! Tournament appearances since 2005 (Hofstra leads the way with an average seed of 2.00). Yet, Towson has earned only two THUNDERDOME! Tournament championships in the last 10 seasons, trailing Delaware (three) and holding square with Hofstra (two) despite appearing in more postseasons than either two teams and having a stronger average seed than the Hens and narrowly trailing Hofstra's average tournament seed. THUNDERDOME! is evil.