The season starts in 10 days. 10 days! We're perilously close to having our faces smashed with hot, barely-legal lacrosse action. High Point-Delaware and Lehigh-Furman are the nation's flag bearers, but before they present lacrosse's colors, we all must realize something important:
LACROSSE IN THE DEAD OF WINTER IS WHY THE TERRORISTS HATE US
Most of the East Coast is dealing with snow today, weather that is more indicative of wind chills than wind sprints. Yet, teams are still out on the practice field, slinging the bean and getting some preseason pneumonia out of the way. Here's a sampling of what knuckleheads are dealing with out there:
You know what can stop a Loyola practice? Gangrene, hypothermia, frostbite, and probably an attack from the Abominable Snowman. On the bright side, I see exactly zero players with t-shirts tucked into their shorts, so that's a plus for humanity. Thanks, potentially-deadly-weather!
There are two things here that stick out:
- The care to remove snow around the crease. Potentially getting the flu from playing in a full-field scrimmage in driving snow? Acceptable. Potentially seeing someone do an illegal dive into the crease? That's a freaking felony, brother.
- You couldn't pay me enough to be the 40th guy on the roster, spending two hours on the sideline without getting any run in a full-field scrimmage. If you're that guy, this is the day that you call in with a bad case of the "NOPES!"
I would rather subject myself to 10,000 noogies than be on a snow-covered lacrosse field before the sun was up. In fact, I'd subject myself to 10,000 noogies, 40,000 wedgies, and 6,000 swirlies before I stepped on a snow-covered field before dawn.