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Harvard Lacrosse Opens Fall Practice

There were no boat shoes on the practice field. This is disappointing.

I've always envisioned that Harvard's fall practices featured any of these scenarios:

  • 40 gentlemen of high society stock, sitting in plush chairs in front of a fireplace, swilling brandy and bemoaning the fact that credit default swaps aren't considered in a team's media poll ranking.
  • Outsourcing wind sprints to the less fortunate living in South Boston.
  • Mandatory breaks to organize an America's Cup syndicate.

As it turns out, that's not the case: Harvard is mashing the accelerator and looking for a return trip to -- at least -- the Ivy League Tournament and a place among the conference's top tier. Let's break down the video:

0:08: This soundtrack was apparently made in Harvard's on-campus industrial plant. I never knew shearing and bending sheet metal was music, and yet here we are.

0:55: "It was intense." Not only was Harvard stretching their legs and kicking rust off their shots, they were also attempting to broker accords between the Syrian government and the rest of the world. I don't think anyone quite understands the pressure Harvard lacrosse is under to succeed both on the field and at the negotiating table.

1:01: "I think a number of things in terms of sloppy play and coordination is to be expected." This isn't a "BLOW UP THE MOON!" scenario for Harvard (yet), but the Crimson finished 2013 ranked 56th in turnovers per 100 offensive opportunities and 60th in clearing percentage. That's a lingering concern for Harvard entering 2014.

2:07: "Dark Times" courtesy of Extreme Music. Harvard are cutters. So emo. Nobody understands what it's like living with Harvard's parents. They just want to write poetry, man. Really express themselves.