I'm going to leave this here and slowly back away from the keyboard:
Stay incredibly stupid, America.
Anyway, there are just two games today, with action starting this afternoon and extending into the early evening. Here are your highlights for the day:
- Villanova at Georgetown: Look: Notre Dame, Syracuse, and St. John's -- barring epic collapses that would likely feature the most comprehensive and clandestine poisoning-of-Gatorade-jugs mission college lacrosse has ever seen -- are going to make the Big East Tournament. (Maybe.) Rutgers is likely out of the running with three losses already on their conference record and Providence, while somewhat dangerous, probably doesn't have the juice this season to sneak into the conference's playoff. That leaves Villanova and Georgetown to battle for the league's final tournament position, and tonight's head-to-head matchup between the schools on The Hilltop may be the determinin game for the league's final playoff spot. While acting as the hosts, Georgetown is the underdog going into the game, and a decisive victory for the Wildcats would go a long way in erasing the frustrating opening Villanova endured to its 2013 campaign.
- Delaware at Marist: I remain skeptical about the Red Foxes. In fact, any time I write "Marist" on my Internet computing machine, I squint my eyes a little bit, acting as if I'm unsure what that word means. (It's a weird body tic. I'm seeking medical attention for it.) Delaware hasn't been all that inspirational this season, but of the Blue Hens' eight losses this season, six have been by three goals or fewer (five of those losses have been one-goal affairs); Delaware has the potential to grab the Red Foxes from behind and shove them into a van, peeling down the street with a result that nobody saw coming. Then again, I could be wrong about all of this and Marist could unleash a beating on an already downtrodden opponent. Lacrosse: It's a thing.
Here's today's full schedule with links to things so that you can monitor the carnage (Wagner isn't in action today because alien abductions are real!):
Leave your notes about the games or anything else (QUERY: Did you believe in basic freedoms, like pooping in the tub and playing with it like a submarine?) in the comments below.