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College Lacrosse Schedule and Open Thread: March 23 and 24, 2013

All the things are happening today.

Rob Carr

I was going to write something fancy and important here, but I have jalapeno poppers on the way and that's really where my head's at right now.

Your five highlights for the weekend are as follows:

  • North Carolina at Maryland: "Hey, do you want to hang out and blow some stuff to smithereens?" "Duh!" That's basically the conversation that the Tar Heels and Terrapins had going into today. They piled into a van together, drove up to New Hampshire to buy some fireworks, successfully dodged some state troopers on their way over the border with the contraband, and lined Byrd Stadium with a small country's arsenal of things that go boom. I'm pretty excited for all of this, except for, of course, John Tillman potentially losing a finger despite warnings on the firecracker package.
  • Bucknell at Albany: If you told me that I could only watch one lacrosse team this season, it'd be the Great Danes. It's not that Albany is particularly fantastic in the overall -- this is still a team that desperately needs to figure out its defensive problems -- but there isn't a team in the country that can roll three Thompsons out on to the field, allowing them to bamboozle opposing defenses for 60 minutes with a smirk and a wink. The Bison will provide a tough test for Albany's concentrated core of offensive laser cannons, and this could be the day's best game from front to back.
  • Pennsylvania at Cornell: This, basically:
  • Drexel at Hofstra: THUNDERDOME! doesn't care that Hofstra is coming off a mid-week loss to St. John's. THUNDERDOME! doesn't care that the Dragons' defense is basically the Maginot Line but manned by adorable puppies. No, THUNDERDOME! has one care and one care only: Destruction, preferably the kind that has tons of collateral damage. It's going to be a bit of a contrast in strengths at Shuart today, with Drexel unleashing its offense against the Pride's staunch defense. Men with eye patches will wager on the outcome, but in the end there is only one truth: The American Medical Association believes that THUNDERDOME! is bad for a lacrosse team's health.
  • Virginia v. Johns Hopkins: It's very simple: Whatever team loses needs to carve the other team's logo into their chest with a rusty kitchen knife. Or the game will partially bury the loser in the race to the NCAA Tournament. It's probably the latter consequence that's real. But, you know, don't rule out kitchen-knife-scar-tattoo. I'm not exactly sure what kind of parameters Inside Lacrosse is putting around the Face-Off Classic, but I'd sure like to see prison rules in effect for this afternoon.

Here's Saturday's full schedule. If there are errors, please let me know. I pulled this information from the Lacrosse Magazine website. I'll populate links to live stats and video as the day progresses.

March 23, 2013
Lafayette Army 12:00 1.7541 23 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Jacksonville Manhattan 12:00 1.0336 25 LIVE STATS N/A
North Carolina Maryland 12:00 6.4687 1 LIVE STATS VIDEO
St. John's Robert Morris 12:00 4.3450 5 LIVE STATS N/A
VMI Detroit 12:00 0.9669 26 LIVE STATS N/A
Vermont Sacred Heart 1:00 1.4767 24 LIVE STATS VIDEO
St. Joseph's Penn State 1:00 2.0321 21 LIVE STATS N/A
Bucknell Albany 1:00 4.1664 7 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Quinnipiac Binghamton 1:00 2.2843 18 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Pennsylvania Cornell 1:00 4.5373 3 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Harvard Dartmouth 1:00 2.4173 14 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Drexel Hofstra 1:00 3.5516 8 LIVE STATS N/A
Georgetown Duke 1:00 3.1849 10 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Fairfield Hobart 1:00 2.3757 17 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Mount St. Mary's UMBC 1:00 2.6471 12 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Siena Providence 1:00 2.3928 15 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Colgate Navy 2:00 2.3815 16 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Lehigh Holy Cross 3:00 2.6546 11 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Loyola Michigan 3:00 2.5408 13 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Air Force Denver 3:00 4.7833 2 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Bryant Stony Brook 4:00 2.0625 20 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Virginia Johns Hopkins 4:30 4.3640 4 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Syracuse Villanova 7:00 3.4428 9 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Ohio State Bellarmine 7:00 4.1819 6 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Massachusetts Hartford 7:00 1.9164 22 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Marist Canisius 7:00 2.1322 19 LIVE STATS VIDEO

And here's your Sunday slate:

March 24, 2013
Brown High Point 1:00 2.7043 2 LIVE STATS VIDEO
Notre Dame Rutgers 1:00 2.7415 1 LIVE STATS N/A

This is your open thread for the weekend. My nose is full of snots and I'm going to pick out a winner, Bobby. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy.

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