The Weekend in Stick: Holy Macaroni (Part II)

Part I gave you all the big stories from the weekend; Part II is all about the little stories that are notable and adorable in easily digestible form.

ELSEWHERE

Hopkins and Wells Stanwick put a boot in UMBC's ass, 13-7; I won't know what to think about the Jays until their date with Syracuse this coming Saturday in the Carrier Dome . . . I bet your forgot this (I did), but Duke didn't totally bleed out on the operating table; the Devils showed signs of life in their 9-8 victory over Loyola in Durham; I am still skeptical that the Greyhounds are more than the 15th-best team in the country right now . . . Marist remained unbeaten after a 10-9 victory over Towson; I'm ready to believe -- the Red Foxes look like the best team in the MAAC (and Keegan Wilkinson has a nice thing on his hands in Poughkeepsie) . . . Quinnipiac continued to do what it has done so far this year -- beat teams it should; the Bobcats are now 3-0 following a 10-6 defeat of Vermont; the Bobcats' showdown with Providence on Tuesday is interesting in a "I've never tried this before" kind of way . . . Daniel Eipp still exists and he proved his continued participation in life in an 8-6 victory for Harvard over Georgetown; the Hoyas are weird and let's just leave it at that . . . Massachusetts continues to slide without the services of Will Manny; the Minutemen were slapped upside the head in a 7-4 defeat at the hands of Bucknell; I don't think that this statement is ridiculous -- the Bison might be the best team in the Patriot League right now. . . .

MORE ELSEWHERE

Denver went to Columbus, survived the Buckeyes, and went back to Colorado with a strong 10-9 victory; I'm really starting to like Ohio State . . . Bryant is still winless; following an 11-5 sledgehammer demonstration from Drexel, the Bulldogs are basically an awkward teenager at the dance . . . Providence remained unbeaten following a 12-10 defeat of Sacred Heart; the Friars' wins aren't famous or anything, but at least they're wins . . . Lyle Thompson had four assists in Albany's 12-11 defeat of Canisius; Tim Edwards put in man's work and should eat lots of sausage and bacon as a result . . . Army beat Rutgers, 10-8; John Glesener was a beacon of hope and light and the reason that the Scarlet Knights were blinded . . . Brown unloaded on St. Joseph's in a 17-9 victory; the win doesn't say much about Bruno, but I'm not sure that Taylor Wray quite has what he had last season . . . Yale dropped intra-state rival Fairfield, 12-8; this is the part of the season where I apologize for thinking the Bulldogs were going to be soft in 2013 . . . Hartford took itself out of Reverse Survivor with a 15-14 defeat of Siena; the Saints are icky . . . Michigan fell to Hobart, 11-7; I'm not sure Michigan is winning a game this season (St. Joe's looks like the best bet for a Gatorade bath) . . . Marquette, following its defeat of Air Force last weekend, went to Jacksonville and the Dolphins administered a 13-7 beating at the Golden Eagles' expense; Marquette looks to have a decent stopper in cage, but there's only so much Sagl can do. . . .

EVEN MORE ELSEWHERE

Mount St. Mary's pooped on Manhattan, 16-7; the Mountaineers are exactly what they are (which is nice) . . . Wagner led for most of the day but eventually fell to Mercer, 12-11; I'd like to sell Staten Island to the British for some fish and chips, please . . . Colgate put its loss to Hobart behind them and whipped Holy Cross, 14-6; Peter Baum had six points and made some really good gravy . . . If teams only played three periods, Villanova would be a national title contender; the Wildcats bowed to Pennsylvania at PPL Park, 13-9; the Quakers look like a team that is going to raise some hell . . . Dartmouth notched itself a nice one in an 11-9 victory over Robert Morris; the Colonials, while still owning my heart, are committing domestic violence against me . . . Lehigh snapped out of whatever funk it was in with a 12-10 victory over Penn State; this is full of truth and vigor . . . Maryland hammered Stony Brook, 13-7; no doink. . . .

PUMMELING AND PUMMELING AND PUMMELING

Your best individual performances from the weekend:

• Backstop Circus: Andrew Wascavage (15, Towson); Chris Herbert (16, Delaware); Cal Winkelman (15, Drexel); Nick Carrasco (16, Canisius); and J.J. Sagl (15, Marquette). High honors this week go to Carrasco for looking at Albany's offense, standing in front of the firing line, and not even asking for a last meal or that someone should tell his family that he loves them.
• "Five-Goal Club and More!": Thomas DeNapoli (5, Towson); Mike MacDonald (5, Princeton); Tim Edwards (5, Canisius); Andrew Scalley (6, Mount St. Mary's); Colin O'Rourke (5, Wagner); and T.J. Sanders (5, Penn State). Just six guys this week. Lots of different names in the newspaper.
• The Tom Schreiber is Killing Everyone from Everywhere Award: I usually don't confer top honors on a player from a team that destroys a bad opponent, but Andrew Scalley's six-goal, four-assist performance against Manhattan takes home top honors this week. Scalley accounted for 10 of Mount St. Mary's 16 goals, and he single-handedly out-offensed the Jaspers. Honorable mention honors this week go to one winning effort and a handful of losing efforts -- Lafayette's Brian Bock (4G, 3A); Kieran McArdle (4G, 2A); Mike MacDonald (5G, 2A); Tim Edwards (5G, 2A); and Rob Pannell (2G, 4A). (Tom Schreiber went four-and-two against a North Carolina. He isn't on the continuum; he is the continuum.)

Do you have anything else to add from this weekend? The comments, they are yours.