College Lacrosse Schedule for February 19, 2013

Here's a list of the best kinds of Snapple:

1. Peach Tea

Has a company ever made so much money by producing so much trash in relation to the good stuff it actually supports (the United States Congress excluded, of course)? I have no idea how Snapple is still in business, other than I'm somehow keeping the company in the black by main-lining its peach tea products. Business concerns are weird things.

Anyway, here are the afternoon's highlights:

• Wagner at Rutgers (3:00 P.M.): Wagner's comin'! Wagner is off to a winless start to its season -- shocking! -- following the Seahawks' season debut against Providence, a 17-6 victory for the Friars. This makes me feel human emotions such as sadness and empathy, as well as pain in my face due to extended frowning. Things don't look so hot for Wagner to get its first victory of the year today in New Jersey, but I do know this: In 2012, Rutgers didn't exactly shoot a cannon at Wagner's face, slowly pulling away in the second half after the Seahawks got within one at the 7:10 mark of the third quarter. Or the Scarlet Knights could shoot a cannon at Wagner's face today. There are even odds on both. (GameTracker: Here)
• Navy at Fairfield (3:00 P.M.): It's the game of the day, people. Break out the fancy bag of potato chips and put on your best I'm-pretending-to-work face as you intensely monitor the events taking place just off of the Long Island Sound this afternoon. After the Stags' defeat of Bryant this weekend, I'm starting to have a little faith about what Fairfield may have in store for 2013; at worst the Stags don't look like they'll be careening off the highway into a ditch somewhere, only to be found six days later by a dog chasing after his owner who had pulled over to take a squirt. So, that's a good thing. As for Navy, the North Koreans don't believe in the existence of Midshipmen lacrosse, mostly because the entire Naval Academy is busy ruining the lives of the North Korean people simply by reading books and, you know, enjoying not being starved to near-death. This game should be filled with explosions, and that's a terrific thing. (Video: Here; GameTracker: Here)
• Stony Brook at Lafayette (4:30 P.M.): My brain is still looking for an escape plan from my skull after seeing the Leopards beat Georgetown this past weekend to open their 2013 campaign. It's just . . . I did not see that coming at all. Lafayette has a little bit of potential this season but, prior to the game, didn't appear to square all that well with the Hoyas in Jim Rogalski's opening effort. Which, of course, proves the old proverb: Hoya Suxa is a moron. The Leopards aren't going to have an easy effort this evening against a Stony Brook squad looking to hammer some fools following a 13-9 setback to Marist on Saturday, a game in which four Red Foxes recorded hat tricks on the day. (Wait, what? Yup. College lacrosse is bonkers.) I'd expect the Seawolves to come out firing with Jeff Tundo and Mike Rooney, but simply writing that on the Internet doesn't make it true. (GameTracker: Here)
• VMI at Virginia (7:00 P.M.): Bloodsport. (Video: Here; GameTracker: Here)

Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: Are chapped hands worse than chapped lips?) in the comments below.