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Hartford is Mustachioed, Frightening, and Charitable

Raising money is a good thing. Doing it looking like a drifter is another thing.

By Hoya Suxa
Phil Sears-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

"Well, I wanted to play timber sports in college, but the NCAA doesn't sponsor it as a recognized sport. That's garbage, man. Something about the insurance costs associated with running a hot saw as I tear a nickle out of a big ol' log. I'll tell you what: There's nothing sweeter than using a saw powered by an outboard motor while wearing a pair of overalls and a sweet Carhartt hat. I don't use Stihl stuff, though. That stuff is hot trash. Anyway, so I ended up at Hartford to play lacrosse. Still waiting for the school to let me use an ax to cut things in half just because, though."

Hartford is well on its way to frightening the piss out of me. The Hawks, as part of their participation in the Catamount Classic -- Lacrosse for a Cure, are growing mustaches to raise a little extra money for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. They're calling it the "'Stache for Cash," and somehow they haven't gotten Tom Selleck to do a testimonial for the project. To the press release!

In an effort to help raise additional money for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, the men's lacrosse team is again putting its own spin on the event and bringing back the "Stache for Cash." Each member of the Hawks' men's lacrosse team, including the coaching staff, is growing a moustache and will maintain it until the Catamount Classic. To donate to "Stache for Cash," fill out the donation form and email to coach Lawrence at CoachLaw@hartford.edu. Commemorative "'Stache for Cash" tee-shirts will be distributed to the first 100 people who make a donation greater than $20.

You can download the donation form right here. The team managed to raise $2,500 smackeroos last year; let's help them break the $3,000 barrier in 2013. Also: That picture of a mustachioed Peter Lawrence in the press release makes me wonder if he moonlights as a Chicago police detective that has had just about enough of the nonsense that his leads are giving him.

This is creepy and heart-warming at the same time. It's kind of like John Waters directing a Lifetime movie.

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