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Brown Releases Mini-Film on Bears Lacrosse

It's half selling you a timeshare, half workout montage.

Brown is staring down a tough road ahead in the Ivy League this season. The conference is packed with talent, with Cornell atop the hierarchy at the moment. Behind the Big Red, though, sits a mess of teams that are in many ways fighting among themselves in a four-way logjam for three potential spots in the Ivy League Tournament -- Brown, Yale, Princeton, and Harvard all have talent (and issues) that is going to ultimately determine the shape and focus of the league through late March and April-proper. It's exciting in terms of watching the Ivy League race in 2013, but it could create a lot of problems for those teams that are trying to differentiate themselves.

The Bears -- if the above-video is any indication -- appear cognizant of that fact and have been putting in the work to get themselves back to the four-team league playoff next spring. Let's tear this thing apart.

0:01: Brown gets its video direction and scoring from all gritty crime procedural television shows. I like it. "Brown Bears: Life in the Restraining Area. Starring: Lars Tiffany as 'Agent Crushesfaces.'"

0:26: Ah, yes. The splendor of the Rhode Island countryside. Or, as I like to call it: Not-Connecticut-or-Massachusetts-so-it-may-not-actually-be-a-real-place. This is the land of Rogers Williams, people (and of Buddy Cianci's pockets full of no-bid contract money).

0:40: Lars Tiffany looks like he could still run for about 20 minutes a game. Taking odds now on whether he's a Crossfit or Insanity guy.

1:04: "2013 Brown lacrosse can really be summarized, when we talk about leadership, as a team of leaders." FACT: Brown to the Big Ten in conference realignment, joining the Leaders Division.

1:28: Defence? With a 'c'? The Canadians have infiltrated Brown lacrosse, folks. It's just a matter of time until the university starts adopting superfluous vowels and making the lacrosse team eat a steady of diet of poutine while wearing toques instead of helmets. Dare I say a mascot change in the future, going from the Bears to the Beavers? Seems likely. There is no end to the Canadian overhaul of college lacrosse.

2:22: "Brown State"? Dear Leader Lars Tiffany approves of this new nation. An extra ration of stale bread to you, James Lawrence; an audience with Dear Leader is in your future.

3:07: I'm not going to lie: That new facility does look pretty sharp. Kudos, contractors and architects.

3:56: Very classy from Lars Tiffany and the Brown program to make the dedication to Kenny at the end of the video. Good stuff.