Brown unleashed its 2013 schedule on the world the other day, and despite the fact that numerous parts of the slate are whack -- different kinds of whack, mind you -- it does mean something: That the Bears -- short of bringing all their players to the guillotine as part of some sort of university scientific study that seeks research around sharp blades and necks -- will play lacrosse next season, both in Providence and places that aren't Providence. This is generally exciting, but it becomes more exciting when you see video of the Bears doing stuff with (who I assume is) Jack White tearing stuff to pieces in the background. Basically, it's like psychopathic conservative talk radio introductions combined with stuff that isn't totally insane. So, yeah. It's pretty great.
Let's break down the Brown season teaser:
0:01: I'm going to be clear: If Brown found a way to start, stop, and accelerate time at will, allowing themselves to move freely while the rest of us exist on a different plane of reality, the Bears may have an advantage in 2013. This video is documentary proof that string theory is operative.
0:15: Hell yeah, intense whistle blowing! Coach Tiffany is pulling the look off!
0:40: Pull-ups with plates hanging from your waist? No, thanks. I'd rather do anything else, including doing first-person guillotine research.
0:48: Hell yeah, more intense whistle blowing! Tiffany's performance in this piece really brings the work together, with a grativas in his whistle blowing that makes Sir Ben Kingsley jealous.