Reverse Survivor: Three Remain

Do you see that Canisius player in the picture above?  Yeah?  Well, he has a name, but I have no idea what it is.  I'm sure that it's a pretty pedestrian name, like Stan or David, but it doesn't really matter to me what it is because I don't plan on ever writing about Canisius again this season.

Here's why: The Golden Griffins beat Marist on Saturday to take them out of contention for "Reverse Survivor" (or, if you prefer, "The Wagner Cup").  So, congratulations to you, Canisius!  You are no longer among the winless!  You are, however, more irrelevant now than you were mere days ago.

Fear not, though, you other fans of the tired, the poor, the summarily beaten.  Three other teams are still duking it out in "Reverse Survivor": Holy Cross (lost 11-5 to Lehigh), St. Joseph's (lost 14-6 to Penn State), and Wagner (lost by like 96 to Hartford).

Let's run 'em down.

HOLY CROSS

Best Chance for Victory: Mercer (April 16th)

Likelihood of Winlessness: Still not good. Mercer is still Mercer, which means that Holy Cross will beat Mercer because the Crusaders aren't Mercer.  Mercer.

ST. JOSEPH'S

Best Chance for Victory: Never?  The previous prediction (Towson on April 30th) looks less likely given the Tigers' recent play.

Likelihood of Winlessness: High to very high. Fun fact: The Hawks haven't scored double-digit goals in a game yet this year.  Another fun fact: The Hawks haven't yielded less than 10 goals in a game this year.  Final fun fact: St. Joseph's is knee-deep in a stinking pile of monkey poop.

WAGNER

Best Chance for Victory: Never.

Likelihood of Winlessness: Very high.  If Wagner had a plug, it'd only be humane to pull it.