As everyone knows or should know, Saturday is the Johns Hopkins vs. Syracuse game. The series is arguably one of the fieriest rivalries in all of college lacrosse and passions run hot. Well, except for here at College Crosse. We got both Cuse & Hopkins guys on staff, we all like each other, and frankly, given the fact that the two schools own nearly half of all the NCAA D1 titles in lacrosse, it’s in our collective interest to keep national titles away from everyone else; we should be working together, not fighting each other. Moreover, we’ve spent a lot of time and energy building up #TheDuopoly brand, and it doesn’t really make too much sense to me to just throw all of that out of the window

Now the problem with having a mutually beneficial and friendly relationship with one of your rivals it that it kind of takes the juice out of the rivalry. Indeed, as some have *cough cough* forthrightly said to me, being too chummy with your rival kind of ruins the fun.

Safe is single handedly ruining the Hopkins-Cuse rivalry - Jake Nazar

The truth hurts, but it will set you free. In light of the fact that I may have played a SMALL role in chilling what should be a heated affair between two of the best programs in college lacrosse, I decided to make a list of reasons why you shouldn’t root for Syracuse University. Hopefully this post helps up my Baltimore street cred. Forgive me, BOSS Desko! I had no choice!

Five Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Root For Syracuse

5. They never stop talking about their precious Newhouse School of Journalism
Alright, alright, alright, we get it! You guys invented journalism! Edward R Murrow himself came down a mountain near Syracuse’s campus with the 10 commandments on how to be a journalist written on two stone tablets and they are stored under lock and key in Jim Boeheim’s office. Congratulations, we concede, YOU WIN! But please, give it a rest about your reporter school.

Honestly, have you ever talked to a Syracuse student/grad about Newhouse (excuse me, I mean THE S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications)? Even if they have no connection to Newhouse, they’ll talk your ear off about how great it is. It’s like you’ve been transported into the movie The Newsies and the only way you can get out is by screaming “Syracuse is a far better institution than Northwestern for journalism” at the top of your lungs 100 times in a row.

Enough! YES, WE ALL KNOW BOB COSTAS GRADUATED FROM NEWHOUSE! You don’t need to keep telling us.

4. They are obsessed with Rutgers
When it comes to Rutgers, Syracuse fans turn into a hybrid of Mark Wahlberg in Fear and Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. It’s a weird creepy obsession that makes Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction look reasonable and level-headed. I can go on citing movies about unhealthy fixations, but you get the point.

3. They rep New York City like it’s the neighboring town, yet are 230 miles away from the Big Apple
Syracuse to New York City is roughly five hours by car, but Orange fans act like they can just hop in an Uber and be there in seconds. It’s the same distance from Philly to Boston by car, but you don’t see me running around acting like Boston is part of the greater Delaware Valley area. Well sometimes I do to annoy Marisa, but irrespective of that specific reason, no rational person would claim a city five hours away as their own. But it seems if your school played in a basketball tournament once a year at Madison Square Garden when your school was a member of the Big East, you get to act like you got the keys to The City.

2. The Dome is hot mess
The roof is crumbling, it’s hotter than the sun, and most visitors consider it a “dump.” The Dome is the Maggie Gyllenhaal of lacrosse stadiums, not much there to support the big reputation. TEAR IT DOWN & START OVER!!

1. They stole a trophy and refuse to give it back
Can we talk about how outrageous it is how Syracuse refuses to hand over the 1990 D1 men’s lacrosse trophy despite being found GUILTY of smuggling stolen cars into North Korea or whatever they did that season? It’s probably the most scandalous thing to happen in college lacrosse, but we all treat it like a joke. If Hopkins did the same thing there would be ENDLESS mass protests in the streets, the likes of which this country has never seen. There would be an infinite number of Twitter threads denouncing JHU & demanding they be expelled from D1. But because Syracuse has a stranglehold on the legacy media (see Reason #5), they get to skate away with no repercussions like they are Jon Gotti in the 80s or something.

What lessons are we teaching AMERICAN children, the future of this great and wonderful nation, about sportsmanship and fair play by allowing this FARCE to continue? Frankly, I’m shocked this charade has been allowed to go on this long and I call on the United States Justice Department to finally put this SCANDAL PLAGUED & RECKLESS school in line and retrieve the trophy. Syracuse’s reign of terror must not be allowed to go unchecked. NOT ON MY WATCH!