As I am sure many of you have heard, season 7 of Game Of Thrones starts tonight. The hit series has captivated millions and pretty much everyone is anxiously counting down the hours until 9:00 pm EST.
I, like many others, am a big fan of Thrones. Well, I mean, not big enough of a fan to go back and actually read George R. R. Martin’s lengthy books, but I definitely love the show and think it’s probably one of the top-3 shows of the 21st century.
With the first episode of season 7 only hours away, I thought it would be fun to try and fill out a lacrosse team made up of characters from the show. Now I know what you are probably saying right now, “Safe, no one asked for this obvious click-bait article. #FireEriBarrister.” That is
more accurate than I’d like to admit a hurtful and outlandish allegation and I am not going to dignify it with a response, so let’s just move right along.
Anyway, without further delay, here is my All-Game Of Thrones Lacrosse Team.
All-Game Of Thrones Lacrosse Team.
Attack - Catelyn Stark.
I know some people (*GLARES at Joseph Keegan*) aren’t big fans of Cat, but the matriarch of the Stark family is my number 1 pick. Cat is smart, a leader, and knows what it takes to win. If I need a goal with time winding down, I’m giving the rock to Cat. Moreover, as she demonstrated at the Red Wedding, she plays until the final whistle.
All I know is if I'm in a gun fight I want Cat "Bury Me A G" Stark watching my back. She fights until the final whistle. pic.twitter.com/dQDnWSKLF2— Safe Fekadu (@Eri_Barrister) July 15, 2017
Attack - Arya Stark.
I’m going back to the Stark well for my second pick. Arya is tenacious, quick, and she knows how to hold a grudge/hates to lose, all characteristics I want in my attack. Moreover, she’s pretty adept with her Needle, so I think she would have excellent stick skills on the lacrosse field.
Attack - Jaime Lannister (pre-hand chopped off).
Before the loss of his hand, Jaime was one of the best fighters in all of Westeros. Jaime’s cunning, intelligent, and (when necessary) vicious; that sounds like exactly the kind of player that I need on my King’s Landing All-Star Club Lacrosse Team (working title). I’m working on a sponsorship with Under Armour.
Midfield - Ned Stark.
Ned’s definitely the best all-around player on the squad. He’ll get you goals, assists, and plenty of ground balls. Furthermore, he’s loyal and doesn’t mind doing the dirty work that other players don’t want to do. Additionally, we know he can keep his mouth shut, so he’d probably make a great captain, as he’d rarely give the other side bulletin board material before a game.
Midfield - Petyr Baelish.
All the skills that Ned lacks (ruthlessness, subterfuge, and being able to see two steps ahead), Petyr has in spades. No one wants to admit it, but you need players like Petyr on your team if you’re trying to win. Moreover, I like the dynamic of having Ned & Petyr on the same squad, as I’m sure they’ll both push each other and try to outwork the other to try and impress Cat.
Midfield - Yara Greyjoy.
Yara, like Cat, is that Ride or Die Chick, I need on my squad. She’s a born leader, and knows how to make quick decisions. If I could, I’d just make multiple clones of Yara & Cat and make them my midfield & attack.
Defense - Ser Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane.
He’s big, faster than he should be for his size, and he hurts people when he hits them. He’s close to perfect for my close defense.
Defense - Sandor “The Hound” Clegane.
*See Ser Gregor Clegane*
Defense - Brienne of Tarth.
Much like Gregor and Sandor, Brienne has great size, quickness, and is a hitter. However, unlike those two, she’s unselfish, loyal, and very intelligent. You can’t have a defense made up of only goons or you’ll be playing a man down all game. You need a BALLER like Brienne on your defense if you want to win.
Goalie - Ramsay Bolton.
Goalies are kind of crazy and impervious to pain. That sounds like my man Ramsay. I know he’s not the most noble person out there, but I feel that as long as he’s on your team, Ramsay will do anything, and I do mean anything, to bring home the victory.
FOGO - Grey Worm.
Grey’s exactly what I need in a FOGO. He’s quick, agile, doesn’t whine, and can take a hit.
Head Coach - Cersei.
You remember coach Reilly from the Mighty Ducks? He was the head coach of the Hawks and pretty much everything’s that’s wrong with youth sports. Well, Cersei’s got a lot of Reilly in her and that’s why she’s my head coach. I need a winner leading my team, and Cersei’s definitely it.
Did I miss anyone? Have a better squad in mind? Let us know in the comments section.