National Signing Day for college lacrosse is a bit of an unwieldy animal: As a fringe-type sport, lacrosse commitments -- even ones featuring elite talent headed for hyper-elite schools -- fail to carry the kind of in-depth coverage that hoops and football gets when cats sign their National Letters of Intent. The furor around "Will he actually sign and where?" doesn't necessarily exist in lacrosse's sphere, and local newspapers aren't devoting features to an attackman that will try and eat souls at college lacrosse's highest level in a year's time. There's nothing wrong with that: The athletic bus has drivers and passengers, and lacrosse is clearly in a bench seat reading the newspaper.
Regardless of that fact, Drew Supinski -- a midfielder from Haverford Prep that ranked 10th in Inside Lacrosse's lastest rankings of Young Gun Seniors -- cut through the static of college lacrosse's quiet National Signing Day with an outfit that was either tirelessly ugly or impressively amazing:
That is definitely something.
As National Signing Day is often a platform for what the future holds, let's break down Supinksi's outfit in the context of what it potentially foreshadows as Supinski's future profession:
- Vaudeville Straight Man: "Hey, there Mr. Green. "How are you, Mr. Red?" "I have a question for you." "Fire away." "Why don't Jewish mothers drink?" "I don't know, Mr. Green." "Because alcohol interferes with their suffering!" [rimshot] [groans] [a head of lettuce flies at the stage]
- Snake Oil Salesman: "Step right up, folks! Don't be shy! This here is a modern miracle! In my hand I hold 'Dr. Supinski's Cure-All Elixir and Pain-Relieving Solution.' It'll cure the consumption and increase your focus! It'll give your floors a shine like you've never seen before! It'll fix your headaches and get you over heartache! It's been verified by doctors from New York, Paris, and Chicago! I once polished a french horn with it and it played the best rendition of Bach that I ever heard! Only $9.95 folks for $100 worth of treatment! You'll never feel better! And if you feel worse, it'll fix that, too! Step right up and get a bottle!"
- Your Out-of-Work Uncle: He only shows up for family weddings, funerals, and first communions, but he's always wearing his fresh-from-the-race-track best.
- Estate Sale Auctioneer: We're not talking about Sotheby's here. We're talking a regional auctioneer that stands at a podium starts auctioning off whatever is brought out for sale: Grandfather clocks that don't work; a collection of Elvis plates; old tractor transmissions; black velvet oil paintings of tigers; a VHS collection of every episode of In the Heat of the Night; 40 handkerchiefs. You get the picture.