NCAA Lacrosse Tournament: Saturday Open Thread

The robot apocalypse may not come this weekend -- spilling human blood in retaliation for passing off Tomagotchi pets as actual robot companions -- but if it does I'm ready to meet the end of existence: There are eight games today and eight more tomorrow, around 18 hours of televised NCAA Tournament action thinning arguably the most balanced Division I field that the NCAA has put together since sponsorship of the championship began in 1971. A regular season worthy of liberating your legs of pants has accelerated to the point where running in only underpants down the center of the street -- proclaiming the glory of ham and cheese sandwiches! -- is a real residue of what this postseason could potentially provide.

If you've missed anything this week, checking out College Crosse's NCAA Tournament hub (likely unlocking the universe's secrets) is the best way to look like a genius in front of your goober friends. If that's too much to digest while frantically trying to send your mother flowers for tomorrow (they cost how much?!), then these are your necessaries:

• Ranking games and teams through the "Fun Factor" scale.
• log5 probabilities for this weekend's games.
• THE FACEOFF: Tournament edition.
• Which teams look most like a champion?
• A picture of a kid doing a wheelie in a Power Wheels.
• Drink pairings for this weekend's games.

Otherwise, here are your highlights for today:

• Lehigh at North Carolina: It's a clash of styles in Chapel Hill -- North Carolina attempting to win with hyper speed offense and as a blur through time; Lehigh looking to unleash its defense and pragmatically attack the Heels' defense. It's a Championship Weekend-caliber game to start off the weekend.
• Yale at Penn State: If any game deserves to be played within a ring of fire, it's this one. These teams are so evenly matched that the universe brought them together (all without awkward Internet messages -- "Will you play an NCAA Tournament game with me?[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe").
• Detroit at Notre Dame: Pain (probably).
• Albany at Denver: You're a first-rate dumbass if you made plans tonight instead of dedicating your face to Albany-Denver. This isn’t a first-to-20-goals-wins type of game; rather, it's a first-to-not-have-its-goalie-throw-up-his-hands-and-say-"Eff this!" type of game. Booker Corrigan -- yup! -- has the call and will hopefully lose his mind.

This is your open thread for Saturday's first round games. These are the good times, you guys. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy.

Also, if you haven't yet, give a "like" to College Crosse over on Facebook and make sure to give a follow @SexyTimeLax.