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Boogity! Boogity! Let's Go Strength and Conditioning!

Welcome to the Fairfield 500.

Welcome to the Fairfield 500! Let's go strength and conditioning!

0:01: For a big race, I don't see the necessary level of advertising on the racers' uniforms. Where's the Goody's Headache Powder logo on the shirts? Nobody is conspicuously holding a Gatorade bottle with the label facing the camera? Why isn't anyone thanking Hardee's for making a breakfast sandwich that tastes like concentrated heaven? This is wrong! It's all wrong!

0:04: Oh, no! He missed a shift! That's not how to start a plate race! He's going to fall out of the draft! The race is lost. Somewhere in benchpress row a strength and conditioning coach is throwing his headset in anger. The boys at the shop worked too hard for this.

0:07: That's 1.2 horsepower of pure American muscle. It's clean energy, minus -- of course -- disgusting sweat.

0:11: "High, wide and handsome out of Turn Four taking the Richard Petty line! He looked a little loose rounding the leg press but he's not coming in for a stop. Like a good ol' boy runnin' some 'shine!"

Unfortunately, after the video cut off, the race was red-flagged after an impressive wreck invovling the two racers and some kettle bell debris left on the backstretch.