College Lacrosse Weekend Internet Talking Interface: May 5 and 6, 2012

Do you see that image up there? Yes? That's a picture of an angry lion. It's angry because it's on the NCAA Tournament bubble because crazy brain worms have turned college lacrosse into a clinical trial for medical journals and chaos theory. It's also angry because Papa Lion Tambroni is going to make it run wind sprints.

There are nine games this weekend with six on Saturday. Of those nine games, only three -- Maryland visiting Colgate, Army shooting south to play Johns Hopkins, and #teamone taking a swing at North Carolina in Chapel Hill -- don't involve a trophy or banner or Certificate of Merit inuring to the contest's winner. All, however, will help shape the overall selection picture for Sunday night's NCAA Tournament draw.

Here are your six highlights for the weekend:

• Big East Tournament Championship: Either Syracuse or St. John's is going to steal a bid to the NCAA Tournament by early afternoon, and unless the selection committee has some kind of infestation from those crazy brain worms that are running amok throughout college lacrosse, it's the only way that either team is going to smell the field next weekend. In the first meeting between the two teams Syracuse stole a victory in Queens on a last-second tally from Tim Desko. St. John's slayed the beast on Thursday and if Kieran McArdle and Kevin Cernuto come to play, the Johnnies could stand to hold the most improbable free bus trip to the second weekend of May ever. ESPNU has the telecast at noon.
• Ivy League Tournament Championship: Cornell is patiently awaiting its postseason fate following a curb stomping at the hands of Yale on Friday evening, but that doesn't impact the show that Yale and Princeton are waiting to put on at Class of 1952 Campground on Sunday. The Elis are flying high, the winner of eight straight and likely listening to the soothing affirmations of Tony Robbins, while Princeton -- the host of this whole shebang -- is playing as strong as any team in the galaxy. ESPNU will put pictures of this on your television at noon.
• Maryland at Colgate: There have been some strong whispers that Terrapins-Raiders is essentially a play-in game to the NCAA Tournament, and I guess that makes sense given that each club is sitting on the back-end of the RPI. (Which raises an important point: The RPI should kill itself.) Regardless, Hamilton is definitely going to shape the NCAA Tournament picture more than any other game this weekend and, most importantly, it'll actually be awesome to sit on the couch and watch and you cram potato chips into your face, fatty. I think people forget that sometimes; the value of Maryland-Colgate isn't limited to postseason implications, but rather that you get to see Peter Baum and Ryan Walsh trade blows with Joe Cummings and Owen Blye. CBS Sports Network Time Warner Cable Sports will use technology -- amazing technology! -- to make little people appear on your set.
• THUNDERDOME! Tournament Championship: If Drexel knocks off Massachusetts up at Garber Field tonight (and it's a legitimate possibility), this will have officially become the most bonkers college lacrosse season in the history of college lacrosse seasons. Amherst is one of the most difficult pitches to visit in the country, thanks to the Garber Gorillas, and with Will Manny doing Will Manny things, the THUNDERDOME! Tire Iron of Infinite Victory looks destined for Greg Cannella's club. There is no national broadcast of this game due to FCC regulations relating to the telecast of violent death matches.
• Army at Johns Hopkins: I'm not saying that Army is going to upset the 'Jays at Homewood today; all I'm saying is that if this game is played on Planet Crazy Pants like every other game the last few weeks, it's not out of the question that the Black Knights squeeze out a victory and make your brain explode into a thousand little pieces. Pray for your brain. ESPNU and its horrible, horrible commercials will assault you with the broadcast.
• Albany at Stony Brook: This is it, Albany. The world of Reverse Survivor is counting on you for this one. After seven straight losses to start their season, the Great Danes are on the brink of an NCAA Tournament invitation, which may just be the greatest thing in the history of things. ESPN3 will provide the window into the minds of mad men.

And here's the rest of the slate for the weekend:

This is your open thread for Saturday and Sunday. Power-up . . . engage! College Crosse's NCAA Tournament material will start appearing tomorrow.

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