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But I Don't Wanna!: College Lacrosse Schedule for April 4, 2012

Presswire

Children are generally disgusting little poop machines. All they do is want things -- like food and clothing and affection -- and if you don't give it to them, they just up and die. Selfish jerks.

The thing about children, though, is that they're kind of great a whining. I mean, I whine a lot -- I don't wanna go to work! I don't wanna change my oil every 3,000 miles, stupid selfish car that doesn't change its oil itself! I don't wanna get arrested because I was exercising my freedom of speech by running down the center of the street in my yellow duckies underpants, screaming about how the government is using honey ham to control our minds! -- but it doesn't do any good. People just tell me to grow up and be an adult, which makes me mutter, "Why don't you grow up and be an adult and give me what I want, mom."

Anyway, there isn't too much to whine about tonight. There's two pretty solid games on the slate this evening, one a conference affair and the other a local interconference delight:

  • Georgetown at Villanova: How soft is the Hoyas' 5-3 record? We'll find out tonight in Philadelphia. (Also, it's very soft.) Georgetown's five wins have come against teams with a combined record of 16-30, which is very icky. The Wildcats have been trading wins with losses since March started, and if Villanova hopes to put itself in NCAA consideration a win tonight is an absolute must.
  • UMBC at Towson: IT'S A BALTIMORE-AREA LACROSSE WAR! EVERYONE COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW NEW YORK LACROSSE IS RECYCLED CAT VOMIT COMPARED TO MARYLAND LACROSSE AND HEAD OUT TO THE BALTIMORE-AREA LACROSSE WAR! I have nothing else to add to that.

APRIL 4, 2012
AWAY HOME TIME FUN FACTOR RANK
Georgetown Villanova 7:00 3.4553 2
UMBC Towson 7:30 3.6546 1

Leave your comments about the game or anything else (QUERY: Fine. Don't answer a hypothetical question, brat.) in the comments below.