Apparently TEEN WOLF -- the seminal 1985 coming-of-age comedy featuring Michael J. Fox as werewolf/basketballer/thespian Scotty Howard -- needed reinvention. I don't know why someone thought that TEEN WOLF needed such treatment, given the fact that some of its most famous wisdom still guides me to this day:
COACH FINSTOCK: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.
Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
This is timeless stuff, people.
MTV -- the network that brings you such programming as COMPLETE GARBAGE and HERE'S SOME MORE GARBAGE FEATURING BIG FAKE BREASTS -- has disagreed with my sentiment. They are officially jerks and are now considered enemies against the Hoya Suxa state.
Last night following the 2011 MTV Movie Awards (you may know this program as A NIGHT OF HONORING HOT TRASH FIRES), MTV rolled out its new version of TEEN WOLF, something I'm tentatively calling YOUR PARENTS WON'T LET YOU WATCH TRUE BLOOD BUT LOOK! THIS IS GRITTY, TOO! Here's the teaser video for the series:
Bros and Broettes: We cannot let such nonsense stand! We must rise up and let MTV know that the sport that we love will not be used as a vehicle to entertain morons that require artificial character development in order to be entertained!
This is aggression!
This is unsatisfactory!
This is potentially a huge recruiting coup for the Stony Brook Seawolves!
Sorry. That was just too easy.