Duke head coach John Danowski was in New York City recently for . . . something. It doesn't really matter what Danowski was in town for; it only matters that Dino -- the most interesting thing in college lacrosse, and that includes the cyborg midfielder that MIT is developing on Harvard's dime -- was in the greatest city in the world having an adventure. Like most adventures, Danowski's time in New York was filled with ups, downs, and sideways things that only Danowski can seemingly experience. As told through his immaculate Twitter account, here's Danowski's trip to the big city:
Dinner tonight at Antica Bottega Del Vino in Manhattan Forgot what Italian food tastes like! Awesome!!— John Danowski (@John_Danowski) July 24, 2013
How do you forget what Italian food tastes like? It's, like, always been tomato and garlic things with pasta stuff, served to you by someone that refuses to let you stop eating until you ask that a paramedic be sent with the check to pump your stomach. This is Italian food; it hasn't changed since short Italian people were shuffling through Ellis Island a hundred years ago. Which begs the question: What the hell kind of Italian food is North Carolina serving up? Hint: If your Italian food is chicken wings, you aren't eating Italian food.
Left my phone in a cab in NYC! Got it back 3 hours later! How about that!— John Danowski (@John_Danowski) July 24, 2013
Lots of things are often lost in New York cabs: Wallets, telephones, actual people. The vast majority are never returned, including kidnapped people. Danowski is a sorcerer to have his phone returned. His command of the dark arts is unsettling.
Metro Museum of Art Yesterday, Museum of Natural Science today! So much to do and see in NYC!— John Danowski (@John_Danowski) July 25, 2013
I can see Danowski standing back from Three Musicians at MoMA, his right hand rubbing his chin as he contemplates Picasso's masterpiece: ". . . so, the guy with the guitar represents Keith Richards if he was put through a meat grinder, right? And the guy on the left is our inner soul, but only if our soul tried to play the clarinet through its nose, right? And the guy the right is a jerk because he tore that music in half, right? Art! Now, take me immediately to the exhibit on real Italian food!"
First cancelled flight of the summer out of LGA, not bad really! Will head back to RDU in the morning!— John Danowski (@John_Danowski) July 28, 2013
Ah, yes. LaGuardia Airport, named after the God of Ruining Everything: LaGuardiamis.