The Weekend in Stick: Satan is My Motor (Part II)

Geoff Burke-US PRESSWIRE

"The Weekend in Stick": It's exactly what it sounds like -- a recapitulation of this weekend's most notable. No doink.

Part I gave you all the big stories from the weekend; Part II is all about the little stories that are notable and adorable in easily digestible form.

ELSEWHERE

Michigan continued its march toward depressive perfection in a 12-5 defeat at the hands of Delaware; the Blue Hens now have four wins after a week that also consisted of knocking off Marist in Poughkeepsie . . . Maryland was sluggish in an 11-8 win over Navy; slipping past the Mids isn't the end of the world for the Terps, but it's not the curb-stomping that everyone anticipated . . . Denver did Denver things in a 15-4 recalibration of Marquette's universe; the Golden Eagles scored exactly one goal in each quarter . . . Duke only led by two at the half, but an 8-1 third quarter helped the Devils to a 17-6 win over High Point; Duke squeezed off almost 60 shots, which is a violation of international combat treaties . . . Detroit uncorked a beating on Manhattan, earning a 14-8 victory over the Jaspers; where the hell did that come from? . . . Mount St. Mary's continues to baffle the mind and chill the heart; its 12-8 loss to Quinnipiac this weekend marks the team's fourth loss in a row and second consecutive defeat at the hands of an NEC opponent . . . Air Force jumped out to a 6-3 first half lead over Mercer and didn't look back in a 15-9 defeat of the Bears; Chris Baxa is a bit of a player for Mercer . . . All Bryant does is win these days because its doctor told them that they couldn't consume any more losing because it's full of bad cholesterol; the Bulldogs beat Robert Morris, 15-11, and Bryant has officially found the magic NEC elixir of life. . . .

MORE ELSEWHERE

Siena unloaded on Canisius in a 16-6 defeat of the Griffs; Canisius is driving around erratically at the nitroglycerin plant . . . Ohio State beat Hobart, 10-6; the Buckeyes got balanced scoring across the board and limited Alex Love and Cam Stone to two points combined . . . Holy Cross continues to do the things it’s supposed to do (and this is a good thing!); the Crusaders moved to 6-5 on the year in an 11-10 defeat of Lafayette in Easton; Jim Morrissey continues to be a sorcerer . . . VMI was tied with Jacksonville at the half and then detonated the dynamite vest; Jacksonville's 13-8 defeat of the Keydets adds another layer to VMI's season of complete misery . . . Massachusetts and Towson met in a continuum game and volition was cemented in time; the Tigers' 9-5 defeat of the Minutemen puts Towson in an enviable position in THUNDERDOME! play (3-0) and Massachusetts in epic trouble (0-3) . . . Sacred Heart beat the living piss out of Wagner in a 21-8 shellacking of the Seahawks; it was 13-2 at the half and I'm still not sure how Wagner won a real game this season . . . UMBC hit the power-up button and beat Vermont, 19-6; the America East is the Chinese food restaurant down the block that continually changes ownership . . . Yale futzed around with Dartmouth, scoring three goals in the final period to pull out a 7-5 win over the Green; the Ivy League is a very socially-conscious warzone . . . They don't make Fairfields like they used to; Loyola went all hungry-animal-on-the-loose and smacked the Stags, 13-7; Scott Ratliff lead all scorers with four goals and my eyeballs just exploded. . . .

EVEN MORE ELSEWHERE

Bruno learned a lesson in "Oof!" against Pennsylvania in its 10-3 loss; Brown shot just 10 percent on the day and the schedule is starting to get real for the Bears . . . Virginia is staring at a May filled with reading Ayn Rand rather than playbooks; the Cavaliers succumbed to North Carolina, 10-7, and the darkness is suffocating . . . Binghamton beat Stony Brook in overtime, 14-13; has there been a player that has returned from injury that has had more impact for a team than the Bearcats' Matt Springer? . . . Hofstra yielded a goal to St. Joseph's in the first quarter and then decided that would be just about enough; the Pride's 13-1 defeat of the Hawks was just as gruesome as you'd think . . . Rutgers remained feisty all night but eventually fell to Villanova, 11-9; a 6-4 fourth quarter in favor of the Wildcats was both the difference and WHAT THE HELL A TEN-GOAL FOURTH QUARTER BETWEEN VILLANOVA AND RUTGERS?! . . . Notre Dame beat Providence, 13-8, on the back of four goals from Sean Rogers; Sean Wright remains very tall and probably hangs around beanstalks . . . Eric Law came to the rescue for Denver, scoring the game-winning goal in double overtime to give Denver an 11-10 victory over Bellarmine; the Knights can really play, and may be saving its true beauty for the ECAC Tournament . . . Albany continued its big weekend with a 24-11 smackeroo of Hartford; Lyle Thompson had seven points because he's the good kind of evil. . . .

PUMMELING AND PUMMELING AND PUMMELING

Your best individual performances from the weekend:

  • Backstop Circus: Matt Poillon (15, Lehigh); Pierce Bassett (15, Johns Hopkins); Blaze Riorden (20, Albany); Austin Geisler (15, High Point); Mike Nugent (15, Mercer); Charles Ruppert (15, Robert Morris); Gunnar Waldt (18, Bryant); Harry Krieger (15, Harvard); Peter Zonino (15, Hobart); Matt Lindemann (19, VMI); Peter DeLuca (15, Jacksonville); Andrew Wascavage (20, Towson); Brian Feeney (15, Pennsylvania); Kieran Burke (23, North Carolina); Dustin Keen (15, St. Joseph's); Dillon Ward (20, Bellarmine); Frank Piechota (15, Hartford); and Gerald Logan (15, Michigan). High honors this week go to Riorden for back-stopping like it was the last day of existence (it wasn't). (Also, Lindemann may have this award named after him at the end of the season. I don't think there's a guy in the country that dots this list week-in and week-out more than the Keydets' keeper.)
  • "Five-Goal Club and More!": Just three guys turned the trick this week -- Steve Mock (6, Cornell); Scott Jones (6, UMBC); and Jack Rice (5, Villanova). Where'd all the super-volume scorers go?
  • The Tom Schreiber is Killing Everyone from Everywhere Award: Henry Schoonmaker lost his damn mind in Syracuse's defeat of Princeton in New Jersey. The midfielder accounted for six points on four goals and two assists and was a menace against the Tigers all day. (Tom Schreiber went one-and-three on nine shots. The United States government is considering adding a star to the flag to recognize Schreiber's achievements.)

Do you have anything else to add from this weekend? The comments, they are yours.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join College Crosse

You must be a member of College Crosse to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at College Crosse. You should read them.

Join College Crosse

You must be a member of College Crosse to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at College Crosse. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker