Notre Dame and Georgetown are Hustlin'

Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

Want to make a quick 50 bucks?

What happens when you take young adults with an athletic acumen, put them in corporate acquisition attire, and throw them into non-expected situations? This post happens. Thanks, Georgetown and Notre Dame.

First up: Georgetown goes all "The Color of Money" before playing Notre Dame:

Let's break this down:

  • Was there a sale on light blue dress shirts in Georgetown recently? I understand the allure of a light blue dress shirt but did the Hoyas really need to buy them in bulk? It's like everyone in this picture just got back from their First Communion. Even the local insurance agency is, like, "We have a light-blue-dress-shirt-and-tie limit for our associates. That's way too much." Did all of these guys get together before the dinner and decide to match their shirts to the pool table felt?
  • "I'm going to sink this shot and then your father's tennis club membership is mine!
  • I don't even know what's going on with that lighting fixture. It actually looks as if this shot was snapped off while three lights were falling from the ceiling on top of each other. Post-modern my pre-modern ass!
  • Honestly, this looks like the break room of every start-up Internet retail business that I've ever visited. You have the guy in the back checking his phone, aghast that he signed a four-year contract with a company that Bloomberg is now reporting is under SEC investigation for trying to sell toilet paper to the North Koreans; the guy to his right is emphatically indicating with his hands that Google was first his idea and that the courts will prove him right; and everybody else is just standing around doing nothing because Internet start-ups have no idea who to hire people or how a business should be run. Someone forward this picture along to NASDAQ for resolution.

Next up: Notre Dame, finding a million ways to gamble:

Let's break this down:

  • Holy crap. Notre Dame lacrosse is every hedge fund in Greenwich, Connecticut. You have guys playing cards -- presumably for interests in high-yield off-shore investments -- a guy chucking dice -- presumably for a summer home in the Hamptons -- a guy in the background nonchalantly having a conversation with his drink of choice in his hand, and a headless boss in a jacket and tie overseeing this whole thing because bonuses at the end of the year are dictated by hustlin' activity rather than actual work results. Series 7 certifications for everyone!
  • I like how a bunch of these guys are lying on the floor. "Well, coach, we were sitting in chairs at a table, but Mitch lost on a royal flush and Kevin threw snake eyes and then, all of a sudden, everything was basically turned into woodchips. Yes, I know. HULKSMASH isn't the Irish way. They're cooling off in the bathroom while rolling over their 401(k) plans."
  • Please tell me an intern got someone that cup of coffee.
  • Notre Dame is displaying a nice selection of different color dress shirts. That's how you earn a high RPI rating, people. Georgetown could learn a lot from their Irish peers.
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